It's been 1 year since Apple TV+ began, and I have watched every one of their shows (except the kids stuff)! Here's my ranking...[No Spoilers]
In one year, Apple TV+ has released a pretty solid slate of original material. Not including children-oriented content, Apple TV+ has released 20 series, 3 miniseries, 9 movies, and 2 talk shows. From the start, Apple has said that the goal of the content is on quality, not quantity. But…has it lived up to that? 34 - Greatness Code - Documentary Summary: Each episode features a different athlete talking about a key moment in their careers. The show features athletes from many different sports, including basketball’s LeBron James, soccer’s Alex Morgan (sorry…footballer Alex Morgan), snowboarder Shaun White, sprinter Usain Bolt, swimmer Katie Ledecky, surfer Kelly Slater, and (American) footballer Tom Brady (who is a co-producer). My Take: This is the easy winner for the worst thing on Apple TV+. The only good thing about this “show” is that the episodes are usually no more than 10 minutes long. The monologues by the athletes are…fine. There’s nothing you haven’t really heard before here. The problem is that the special effects take away from actually seeing the athlete in action. Almost every bit of action has some animation or filter or something over it, so we almost never actually see the events being discussed. It’s pretty ridiculous. After watching this, I genuinely wondered if this series was intended to be part of Apple TV+’s children’s offerings, because that is the only level where it could at all seem “great”. 33 - Oprah Talks Covid-19 - News (Miniseries) Summary: Not long after the COVID-19 pandemic started major lockdowns across the United States, Oprah quickly began to do online interviews with people who she hoped would bring perspective and uplifting messages, from celebrities to pastors to nurses to people who had experienced isolation in prison and the holocaust. This series ran for nearly a month from mid-March to mid-April in 2020. My Take: One of Oprah’s three series, this one is the lowest ranked just because much of the information within it is out of date, and is aimed at people at a certain time, which was months ago. But in a way, it’s a bit of a time capsule of the early parts of the pandemic in the public eye, which is interesting. It’s almost as interesting to see the production value (or lack there of), as the majority of the episodes are screen recordings of online interviews. It’s perhaps only worth watching now for being a curiosity, but Apple and Oprah did good getting something up in a timely fashion. 32 - Amazing Stories - Adventure Summary: An anthology series executive produced by Steven Spielberg, the show brings back the “Amazing Stories” brand with five independent stories about incredible adventures that play with sci-fi and fantasy about regular people put in amazing situations. My Take: Amazing Stories was to be one of Apple TV’s tentpoles for the summer. Unfortunately, the series landed flat, and is by far the biggest disappointment. It’s yet another TV series that original co-Producer Bryan Fuller left. The show was originally to have ten episodes, it ended up with just five. The stories were not very groundbreaking, though they were beautifully shot. It might be worth checking out for Robert Forster’s last project before he died (Dynoman and the Volt), and for the touching “The Heat” about high school runners from Oakland. 31 - Home - Documentary Summary: As you might imagine, this documentary series is not just about the architecture of a house, but about the people behind building and designing them. Each episode features a different house and story, with houses chosen from around the world, from urban environments like Chicago and Hong Kong to remote locations in Maine and Bali. My Take: Although cable and streaming is littered with television programs about houses and architecture, this show passes on the drama, which helps Home become a documentary, and not a reality show. The cinematography is predictably beautiful, but the pacing is slow, and it’s very hard to really get into. It doesn’t help that a couple of the home builders behind the stories are honestly not very likable. The final episode of the first season is really good, but ultimately, this show is a bit of a snooze beyond the real enthusiasts. 30 - Dads - Documentary (Movie) Summary: Directed by Bryce Dallas Howard, this movie looks at fathers across the many levels of fatherhood, anchored by Howard’s own relationship with her father, actodirector Ron Howard, and her grandfather Archie, as well as Bryce’s non-celebrity brother who is an expecting father. The movie shifts to stories about fathers from around the world, and back to the Howards, to celebrate the ever-shifting role of fatherhood in modern society. My Take: This documentary is a sweet, if simple, tribute to modern fatherhood. There’s nothing special here, it does exactly what you would expect it to. It has cameo interviews from comedian fathers, interspersed with random recordings of fathers from home movies and social media, and stories of fathers in different situations. There’s nothing bad about it, but it’s pretty dry overall. It’s not a waste, but it’ll probably end up being the thing you see in the list and say “Oh, I’ll watch that another time…”, which might as well be next Father’s Day with your dad. 29 - Dear… - Documentary Summary: A documentary series that details the history and life of various individual celebrities, and uses letters written by people they have affected to frame those celebrities’ impact on people and society. My Take: Apple has used the advertising method of using letters written to Apple or Tim Cook about how things have changed their lives (particularly the Apple Watch), and in that context this series feels like, well, advertising. Not to take anything away from the celebrities involved, but the marketing push feels very heavy here. And, of course, one of the celebrities featured is Oprah, who is a big presence in ATV+. It also gets absurd with one episode around Big Bird (in character); of course, the Muppets have a spin-off in the kids section of ATV+ called Helpsters. It’s best with the smaller names, where even I learned a little bit. It’s a decent feel-good if that’s what you’re looking for. 28 - Long Way Up - Documentary (Miniseries) Summary: The third docu-series by Ewan McGregor and his best friend Charley Boorman as they take a long road trip by motorcycle. This trip, they are traveling from the southern tip of South America up to Los Angeles, and are doing it (almost) entirely on electric vehicles. The series highlights both the places they visit along the way, and the travails (and successes) of using these new, custom-made electric motorcycles. (The other two series Long Way Round and Long Way Down have also been added to ATV+, though they are not ‘Apple Originals’.) My Take: I’ve got to be honest, it’s hard to get into watching others take a road trip. It’s nice enough. The footage is beautiful, as they use everything from GoPro helmet cams to drones to capture the scenery. But the major source of tension here is Range Anxiety, and the biggest drama is in whether or not they can do it all on electric bikes. Still, it’s interesting to see parts of South America many aren’t familiar with, including deserts and the vast Patagonia. And Ewan does seem like someone that would be a great bloke to be mates with. Some people will really enjoy this, I’m just not one of them. 27 - The Elephant Queen - Documentary (Movie) Summary: Narrated by the soft-spoken Chiwetel Ejiofor, an elephant herd must navigate the climate of the savannah to survive. Led by the matriarch, they must migrate before the dry season hits to stay around water, and then return to their normal grazing land. Along the way, we meet the many other creatures of the savannah and face the changing climates and droughts that get in the way of these pachyderms. My Take: A documentary much in the style of the old Disney documentaries, the Elephant Queen does a lot of anthropomorphizing its subjects, who range from elephants to dung beetles, and follows them through a difficult season. It is borderline kids-oriented, but adults might enjoy this as well. It’s not afraid to delve into some sad situations, and there is an overriding theme of what happens in droughts that can not be ignored. A sweet film, perhaps a bit saccharine. 26 - Hala - Drama (Movie) Summary: Hala is a Pakistani-American teenage girl and her trying to balance her family and cultural pressures with being a teen in America. She longs to be out of the pressures of her family’s culture as she interacts with friends and teachers outside of the home. When she does try to act out, she begins to discover more about her family, both discovering secrets and sides she never knew about, as she discovers more about herself. My Take: Apple TV+’s first fictional feature film release, this coming of age film is never really surprising, but it is a well made film that hits all the right nuances in trying to share Hala’s experience. It’s not a perfect film, as there are some shifts in tone and character that are rather sudden and jarring for the viewer, though all things considered, that’s probably what writedirector Minhal Baig was trying for. The emotions shift quickly and non-family characters disappear quickly, as it’s clear that this is Hala’s story, and not anyone else’s. It’s a solid watch. 25 - Trying - Comedy Summary: A British couple, Nikki and Jason, have decided to adopt when they have trouble conceiving. They struggle with the truly difficult process of adopting, as well as insecurities about whether or not the two (who could be called slackers) are truly ready to be, or even worthy of being, parents. My Take: This is a British comedy co-produced by BBC that is about an intensely serious subject. If you know British humor, you know that it will be very intentionally awkward, and this series can definitely hit that mark. While the show is certainly has about its two main characters (Rafe Spall and Esther Smith as the couple), it has a surprisingly large cast of supporting characters, but with only one star most Americans would know (Imelda Staunton as the most unintimidating social worker ever). It’s an interesting concept, and it finds some sweet moments, but not as many funny ones. It’s not bad, but is just okay. 24 - Oprah’s Book Club - Talk Show Summary: This was the first Oprah show to appear on Apple TV+, serving as a cross-section of Apple services (which advertises Books and Podcasts), and the only one that got to meet the pre-pandemic style of Oprah’s shows. The idea was that Oprah would interview authors and let an audience ask questions. But the series also shows the effects of the pandemic. Once the pandemic hits, the audience is gone, and it becomes direct virtual interviews for a couple of episodes before Apple and Oprah find a way to have a virtual audience. My Take: I admit, I didn’t read any of the books selected for this list. I still got something out of these shows, but more of an analysis of Oprah than the books. It did show off one of her worst traits, which is how she answers for an interviewee when they were slow to find a point, and she talked over a lot of people. But you could also see her energy change when she had a live audience versus online interviews, and even different with a virtual audience. You could also see her energy change about what books she is passionate about versus those less so. So this wasn’t a waste, but I wasn’t enthusiastic. 23 - Truth Be Told - Drama Summary: Poppy Parnell (Octavia Spencer) is a true crime podcaster after a successful career as an investigative reporter, but she comes to dwell on the first case that made her famous, where a teenager was put away for murdering his neighbor. Now an adult (played by Aaron Paul), Poppy begins talking with him to see if she made a mistake. Meanwhile, the victim’s family is forced to revisit the crime, including twin daughters (both played by Lizzy Caplan), and Poppy’s family confronts her for supporting Cave, who has joined a white supremacist gang in prison. My Take: This show has an incredible cast, with Michael Beach, Mekhi Phifer, and Ron Cephas Jones in big supporting roles. Race is an unavoidable part of this story, but so is culture, as Poppy is split between her family’s blue-collar roots in Oakland, and the Silicon Valley lifestyle she now lives with her husband across the bay. The Bay Area setting of this series is a big part of the symbolism. The problem is that the mystery viewers came for was never really important. This would’ve been a good third season of a show, once a status quo for these characters had been found, rather than a confusing first season with lots of subplots. 22 - Central Park - Animation Summary: Animated by the people behind Bob’s Burgers and created in part by Josh Gad, Central Park is an animated musical. The show revolves around the family of the manager of Central Park (Leslie Odom Jr.), and the villainous hotel owner (Stanley Tucci) who wants to undermine the park to buy it and develop it. Gad plays the busker at the park who serves as the audience’s narrator, and it plays like musical theater, with songs written by a range of artists, including Fiona Apple, Sara Bareilles, Cyndi Lauper, Aimee Mann, Alan Menken and Glenn Slater, and Meghan Trainor, among many others. My Take: The show is silly, but not always in a funny way. The music is reminiscent of the irreverent nature of Avenue Q, and has some star power behind it, though a lot of the music is just meh. I’m not surprised my favorite song, “Spoiler Alert”, was cowritten by Alan Menken of 90’s Disney musical fame. The story, however, very often deviates from the main thrust of the plot and doesn’t seem like it’s going anywhere at times, as it’s more bothered with the humor in ridiculous situations, like the park manager’s son being obsessed with the villain’s dog Champagne. Ultimately, though, the show is just meh. The humor is fine, the story is barely relevant, and the majority of the music will not be found on many people’s playlists going forward, although of course you can find it all on Apple Music. This show has been one of Apple TV’s only controversies, however. The cast is made from many of Gad’s friends. That led to some controversy, as Gad chose stars before choosing parts. Kristen Bell was put into the role of a bi-racial character, and the two villainous women in the series were played by men (Stanley Tucci and Daveed Diggs, though it’s hard to fault either performance). The controversy was first brought up over the winter. After the summer’s social upheaval, Bell stepped down from the role and her former character will be played in season 2 by Emmy Raver-Lampman. Bell will return as a new character in season 2. 21 - On The Rocks - Comedy (Movie) Summary: Laura (Rashida Jones) is worried that her husband Dean (Marlon Wayans) may have gotten bored in their marriage and having an affair with a coworker. Laura’s father (Bill Murrary), a charming and unabashed ladies man, tries to help her figure out her suspicions as they follow Dean around. My Take: Well, Apple TV+ paid for a Sofia Coppola film, and boy, did they get one. What this means is that this is a movie where the plot is less important than the conversation, and in particular, this might as well be a 2-person play between Jones and Murray. Murray is charming as basically a more chauvinistic version of himself, and Jones deadpan is the perfect counter. Ultimately the conversations are predictable, and the very obvious plot takes away any suspense. This lets the movie’s most emotionally revelatory scene go almost completely under the radar. Ultimately, it and any lessons from this film get lost in conversation. Luckily, though, Murray and Jones are enough to carry the film and stop it from becoming just plain lost. 20 - See - Drama Summary: In the future, the world was hit with a virus that made all humans blind, and predictably led to a societal downfall. The remains of civilization live either in a world wildness has mostly reclaimed, or the ruins of what once was. The story centers on a family where two children have been born with sight, and their adoptive father (Jason Momoa) and their mother (Hera Hilmar), with friends, try to find others with sight, while being chased by a religious monarch and her soldiers, trying to rid the world of the sin of sight. My Take: One of Apple TV+’s first showcase shows, with a bankable action star in Jason Momoa and a huge budget, See ended up as one of the platform’s disappointments. The show suffers because it’s trying to world build throughout its first season, but is constantly changing the status quo of the world through its first season. Time flies for the characters, as the kids born in the first episode are teens in 3 episodes. Supporting characters are set up and then lost in the shuffle. The show does a fantastic job putting together a realistic world of how the sightless would build a civilization, but it’s not enough to make up for a plot that barely sets a status quo before blowing it up for a new quo. 19 - Bruce Springsteen’s Letter To You - Documentary (Movie) Summary: A documentary recorded while Bruce Springsteen and the E-Street Band recorded their first studio album since 2012, Letter To You was inspired as Springsteen lost a former bandmate from The Castiles, his band in the 1960’s. The documentary goes between the band playing the songs, and talking about themselves and their history. My Take: This is a solid musical documentary, but there’s nothing groundbreaking here. It was filmed in 2019, when Springsteen was 70, and there’s no avoiding that this is and old white rocker feeling nostalgic and sharing wisdom and concerns of a life having survived rock and roll. Filmed in black and white, the documentary is comfortable and the music is nice, but it kind of fades into the background even while people are talking. Bruce and 80’s rock fans will love this. Others might turn it on and forget it’s playing. 18 - Little America - Comedy Summary: A serial about the immigrant experience, Little America tells different stories about the immigrant life in America, from different time periods and different original countries. Whether it be a child prodigy who is left behind when his parents are deported, an African immigrant interested in becoming a cowboy, or a silent retreat where language is not a barrier, this serial tries to tell stories from every background My Take: With Executive Producers Kumail Nanjiani and Emiliy V. Gordon as the true star power, this anthology series looks at eight different stories about immigrants living in America, all inspired by real life stories. Quality varies per episode, and sometimes it gets a little predictable and repetitive. Still, it has enough high points to work overall. My personal favorites were “The Manager” and “The Grand Prize Expo Winner”, the latter doing an amazing job of humanizing an often-mocked stereotype in media. 17 - The Oprah Conversation - Talk Show Summary: Oprah’s intended talk show to bring in celebrities and experts and talk to them, but because of the pandemic, it is without a live audience. However, Oprah brings guests in remotely with huge and small screens that feels futuristic, not limiting in the way many pandemic shows have been. Oprah and the guest are in separate spaces but both are professionally filmed, and the limited audience members are present like portraits on the wall in a gallery. My Take: Of the three Oprah shows, this feels most like “Oprah”. Due to the timing of the show after social upheaval, many episodes take on the subject of race and race relations. But others are oddly promotional, like Mariah Carey (who coincidentally has a holiday special coming with Apple TV) and Matthew McConaughey (and his new book). The episodes about race are particularly worth watching (as a white man, who is often uncomfortable talking about race). This is definitely peak Oprah. 16 - Little Voice - Drama Summary: Sara Bareilles, Jordy Nelson, and. J.J. Abrams are the powerhouses behind this series, a sweet but not exactly groundbreaking story about a singer-songwriter trying to make it in New York. Bess (Brittany O’Grady) is a songwriter with anxiety about performing, despite a father in the business. As Bess tries to overcome her anxiety, she has to deal with her autistic brother (Kevin Valdez, an actor who is actually on the spectrum), her roommate/best friend, a coworker at the bar who wants to be her manager, a new musician partner, a potential love interest or two, and her alcoholic father and absent mother. That’s all. My Take: It works on the back of star Brittany O’Grady, and a compelling cast of people around her life, especially Valdez’s performance, which is one of the most realistic portrayals of autism you’ll find. Bareilles wrote the music, which is beautiful as usual. Where the show falters is that it seems like it’s trying to do every single possible story at once, and every episode feels manic. It almost seems to exhaust every possible plot point and stumbling block in one season. But O’Grady and the music help you keep watching. 15 - The Banker - Drama (Movie) Summary: Inspired by a true story, this movie follows Bernard Garrett (Anthony Mackie), an African-American prodigy, as he makes himself a success in Los Angeles real estate in the 1950’s and 60’s, and tries to move into banking in his home state of Texas. He and his wife (Nia Long) partners with businessman Joe Morris (Samuel L. Jackson) and white front-man Matt Steiner (Nicholas Hoult) to try and succeed in two racist industries. My Take: One of Apple TV’s first movies, The Banker has big name stars in Avengers stars Mackie and Jackson and a big-time story. The movie is fast paced and at times feels like skimming a book. It doesn’t skimp on laughs in the first half (with Jackson providing his own laugh track), but it does get much more serious in the second half as it and the characters directly address the racism around them. This is the first Apple TV+ movie that feels distinctly “Hollywood”, both in style in structure. That helps raise ATV+’s profile, but it puts limits this film as well. It’s a good story and worth watching, but is not ground-breaking, and clearly is not an in-depth or entirely accurate look at the story. It was also a source of a major controversy, as the movie’s release was delayed by allegations of childhood sexual abuse were levied against Bernard Garrett Jr., the son of the main character and a producer on the film, by his half sisters and their mother. 14 - Tehran - Thriller Summary: An “Apple Original” in title only, this show was made in Israel for their public channel Kan 11, and Apple purchased the international rights. It follows Tamar Rabinyan (Niv Sultan), a young Jewish spy who was born in Iran, as she is inserted into Tehran to try and neutralize Iran’s air defenses so Israel can bomb their nuclear plant. The plot is foiled in the first episode, and Tamar is sent on the run in an enemy city, pursued by the head investigator of the Revolutionary Guard Faraz Kamali (Shaun Toub). My Take: In many ways, this is a fairly standard spy thriller. There’s a mission, it goes wrong, and everyone is sent scrambling. Tehran gets points, from this American viewer, for exploring the largely unexplored environment of urban Iran (albeit filmed in Athens). The characters switch between Hebrew, Farsi, and English very quickly, which is challenging to hearead. But ultimately, this is a personal spy story of pawns in a bigger war, as the scope grows with each episode. There’s plenty of grey in every side of this conflict. Even with the scope, Tehran gets bogged down and the middle episodes feel filled with filler. Ultimately, it’s solid, and does feel different than most spy shows. And though we get a satisfying resolution, the door is left open for season 2, which is as yet officially unannounced (but reported that they are signed on for two more seasons). 13 - Boys State - Documentary (Movie) Summary: Every year, young men are brought together in the Texas State Capitol for what is basically a political science camp, where they are broken into their own political parties, and must come up with a platform and compete in an election for roles inspired by state government. During it, these 16-18-year old boys must work together while competing against each other, and learning what politics are. My Take: A documentary about young men’s mock political competition in Texas, you’ve probably just envisioned something about what this looks like, and no doubt, you’ll probably see exactly that in this documentary. But this Sundance Documentary-winning film doesn’t quite go the way you think, but also close enough that it might not matter. These teens have more nuance than I would’ve expected, and I wish adults had in politics. But it has too much nuance to be received well, I think. Still, if you want a reason to watch this, I’d put money that at least one of the featured boys in this becomes a politician of note in the near future. Also, I am interested in seeing a documentary about the same event for girls, Girls State. 12 - Tiny World - Documentary Summary: Narrated by Ant-Man’s Paul Rudd, Tiny World takes a look at the world of small animals living in diverse natural habitats around the world. Ranging from the African savannah to the Australian outback to the north American backyard, the show features animals from monkeys that can fit in the palm of your hand, down to the ants that are ever-present. My Take: Nature documentaries are everywhere, but the cinematography on this is mind-blowing to the point you truly wonder how some of this was shot. Clearly, a large amount of it was manipulated, with rare parts where the CGI shows through, but it doesn’t take away from just how beautiful the shots are. With Rudd’s occasionally wry narration, it makes this a nature documentary that competes with the best stuff on Netflix. The nature never gets too gory, but it does deal with the life and death (sometimes brutal) of tiny nature. And it’s even a great follow-up to the movie “The Elephant Queen” because the first episode features what could be the same dung beetle that featured in that movie! (The movie and this series were not done by the same company, though, so it might just be a look-alike dung beetle they hired.) 11 - Beastie Boys Story - Documentary Summary: A telling of the Beastie Boys career, by the surviving members Mike “Mike D” Diamond and Adam “Ad-Rock” Horovitz themselves. Directed by Spike Jonze, this documentary is shot as the two tell their story to a live audience in a theater, alternating between them on stage laughing and joking around, and video sequences they narrate about their career, and their friends, especially the late Adam “MCA” Yauch. My Take: This is such an unusual format for a documentary, and it works so well. It allows for some of the goofing off that one might expect from the stars, but it’s still coherent and interesting, especially for me as a casual fan of the band growing up. On a service with a lot of traditionally-made documentaries, this stands out because of both its style and its quality, and if you like pop music at all, you should enjoy this. 10 - For All Mankind - Drama Summary: An alternate history series based off a simple question: What if the Soviet Union beat America to the moon? From Battlestar Galactica’s Ronald D. Moore, the answer is that the Americans, more competitive than ever, try to push for more ambitious goals than just landing on the moon and leaving. My Take: One of the first Apple TV shows, it is a sometimes nerdy but very interesting look at the space race. It balances fictional characters with real life figures (sometimes making interesting decisions when changing their fate), and really tries to focus on the science side of science fiction. The show jumps across years of development, so it’s not as tedious and slow as it could be. It hasn’t captured fans’ imaginations as much as it obviously has its creators’ imaginations, but it’s a quality drama that could get better in future seasons, although it is clearly now swerving to the fiction side of science fiction. 9 - Home Before Dark - Drama Summary: Hilde Lisko (Brooklynn Prince) is a 9-year old daughter of a journalist who wants to do what he does. When her family moves from New York to her father’s small hometown in Washington, she stumbles onto a mysterious death and does what any reporter would do: writes about it in her blog. But as the mystery expands to her father’s past, she challenges an entire city’s reluctance to face up to a tragedy from decades ago, in the name of journalism. My Take: A dark horse series that did not get much press, Home Before Dark seems like a show for kids, but is a show is made for adults, with a mystery of twists and turns more like Gone Girl than any children’s show. Prince is the star of this show and keeps viewers attached, even as the mystery’s twists get harder to follow. The show is vaguely inspired by a real life young journalist, but realistically is not at all the same story. It doesn’t matter, as this is as much about family and youthful stubbornness as anything else. 8 - Dickinson - Comedy Summary: A historical comedy-drama about the life of poet Emily Dickinson (Hailee Steinfeld), this show follows her as a modern-thinking woman in a restrictive 19th century setting, growing up as a teenager. It shows both what’s going on around her, and into her imaginative flights of fancy as she deals with romantic trysts, less-than-friendly friends, and restrictive parents (notably Jane Krakowski as her mother Emily). My Take: One of the first series from Apple TV+, Dickinson is an ambitious series, but shifts between being a period piece with setting-appropriate acting, and characters acting like modern people but set in the past. As great as parts are, it does struggle with focus and tone, particularly John Mulaney’s guest role as Henry David Thoreau, which feels better suited for a Will Ferrell absurdist comedy than what this show is trying to be. Steinfeld shines in the lead role, but Ella Hunt as Dickinson’s best friend Sue and Jane Krakowski as her mother both are fantastic. The relationship between Dickinson and her best friend Sue, and hints about Dickinson’s deteriorating mental health, are both handled very well. This is a show that has a chance to really find its footing in future seasons. 7 - Greyhound - Action (Movie) Summary: Captain Ernest Krause (Tom Hanks) has been given command of a destroyer, and a convoy of supply ships to cross the U-Boat infested Atlantic early in World War II. Without air cover, he spends days awake, attempting to outmaneuver an enemy he can not see, or even count. As ships in his convoy are attacked one by one, he must save as many as he can before getting back under the protective air cover from Great Britain. My Take: A movie that really was meant for the big screen, Greyhound is not interested in your character development or subplots or mandatory romances (mostly). After an initial scene introducing Krause in the lone bit of character development, this movie is about the tense travel of the Atlantic with submarines hunting you. It never shows the human villains, only the occasional peak at the metal beasts when they surface. It also doesn’t jump between ships on this convoy. Strictly a single viewpoint, which makes for a fascinatingly and a little fatiguingly tense film that is shorter than it feels (only 91 minutes!) because of the thrills. This movie is a fantastically different take on the war films we know, and especially for those with military experience, a strong film. 6 - Servant - Drama Summary: Without significant spoilers, the show focuses on a couple who recently suffered the loss of a child, and have undertaken a real doll therapy, where they take care of a doll to help the psychological effects of losing a child, and go so far as to bring in a mysterious young girl to be the doll’s nanny. Over the span of the series, secrets about the nanny, and the troubles of the couple themselves, slowly leak out. My Take: M. Night Shymalan’s first television show is a return to the Shymalan of his early years. With the space of a series instead of a movie, Shymalan has the room to explore each character: the almost-grieving mother (Lauren Ambrose), the disaffected and disbelieving husband (Toby Kebbell), the mysterious nanny (Nell Tiger Free), and the doubtful brother of the wife (Rupert Grint, Ron from Harry Potter), who acts as an outside world anchor. By the end, it feels a bit as if the original mystery has become a subplot, but it’s left on a cliffhanger the will leap the plot forward. And throughout the series, Shymalan allows food to be a visual cue and cinematographic toy, setting the mood. This ranks as one of Shymalan’s better stories from his long career. 5 - Visible: Out on Television - Documentary (Miniseries) Episodes: 5; Stauts: Completed Summary: A documentary series about how all facets of LGBTQ people have been represented on television, from the 1950’s through today. As a series, the documentary takes time with many the facets of every letter in LGBTQ, and all the letters hidden within it, talking about struggles of people of color. With interviews and clips, it takes it’s time with different eras and weaves it all together. And it’s all done with an undertone of how storytelling works, and the tool that television is, both for misinformation but also for connection. My Take: Making this a series really allows the time to give this topic the time to really explore it. It’s an engaging documentary, especially for anyone who’s spent any time watching television. There’s nuggets of memory for all of us, where we can connect to the shows we used to watch, both their flaws and triumphs. Certain critics might point to this as Apple trying to force representation down our throats, but this documentary is excellent at telling a compelling story with both history and context. 4 - The Morning Show - Drama Summary: Apple TV+’s centerpiece, with superstar stars Reese Witherspoon, Jennifer Aniston, and Steve Carrell, and yet a scene-stealing supporting cast of Gugu Mbahta-Raw, Billy Crudup (who won an Emmy for his role), Mark Duplass, and Jack Davenport (who is never not good), the show is about a, believe it or not, morning show whose male lead is fired in a sexual misconduct scandal and the after-effects. Witherspoon’s character is unexpectedly brought in to replace him, as power battles go on behind the scenes with everyone from the network head down to the assistant producers, as the secrets spill out about the truth. My Take: What could be a preachy show about the MeToo movement never gets that way, and attempts a nuanced discussion about the less clear-cut issues. It’s not done perfectly, as some conflicts from the episodic storyline seem to disappear in the next episode, and Mitch is frustratingly (and probably intentionally) likable even as he is hate-able, with Carell showing his range. One flaw of this show is that the extremely likable supporting cast pulls attention away from Aniston and Witherspoon, the former being appropriately lauded with praise but not getting enough to win awards, and the latter getting a little stuck in her character spot. The season finale flurry hits hard, even if it doesn’t feel completely earned, but this show has definitely become the first bankable piece ATV+ has. 3 - Defending Jacob - Drama (Miniseries) Summary: A boy is murdered, and after an investigation, suspicion falls on one of his classmates, Jacob, who is the son of Andy Barber, one of the assistant district attorneys (Chris Evans). Andy and his wife Laurie (Michelle Dockery) must do their best to defend their son, investigating other leads, but also facing the possibility that their son is guilty, and hiding family secrets. My Take: Starring Captain America’s Chris Evans, Defending Jacob became the summer hit for Apple TV+, drawing viewers in. The tension between Andy and his wife Laurie, and their slightly creepy son Jacob (Jaeden Martell) as the teen is accused of murder, is filled with tension and, unlike many of the series on Apple TV, comes to a full conclusion in one season. Fans of mysteries like Gone Girl will appreciate this series. Although it can feel slightly stretched, this series hits hard and makes the most of its star power. 2 - Mythic Quest: Raven’s Banquet - Comedy Summary: Mythic Quest is an online game akin to World of Warcraft, and it’s launching a new expansion to keep its fans engaged. The studio is led by a charmingly sycophantic designer Ian (pronounced EYE-an, played by Rob Mcelhenney), and lead engineer Poppy (Charlotte Nicdao). With a staff of obsessive assistants, disinterested programmers, earnest game testers, snippy game streamers, and an elderly lead writer lost in technology, the show hops along the daily struggles of keeping a game going and its fans happy. My Take: An absolute home run of a show, as one would expect from the team behind It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Mythic Quest is absurdist comedy at its best, with McElhenney and a breakout performance from Nicdao. However, it’s also an ensemble cast with no weak spots, and a wonderfully obvious premise that is contemporary. It is at its best in two standalone episodes. The first comes out of nowhere, not featuring the main cast but instead acts as a “How the Game Industry Got Here” prequel in heartbreakingly personal fashion. The second is a special Quarantine episode that was perhaps the best quarantine-focused special episode done anywhere. 1 - Ted Lasso - Comedy Summary: An American Football coach is inexplicably hired as a Soccer…er, real Football coach in the Premiere League in London. The titular Lasso is genuine and earnest, openly saying he doesn’t think winning has to do with the score, and he faces a soccer world where the opposite is true. He faces disbelieving players, abusive fans, unsure team staff, and a devious owner, but he barely blinks in the face of it all, and tries to keep his team from relegation…once he learns what that means. My Take: An absolute surprise of a show, based on NBC Sports comedy promos, that has no right to be so great. Ted Lasso is on its face a fish-out-of-water sports show about an American football coach going to Europe to coach football/soccer. But it’s really a movie about a polite man in an impolite world, and bending rather than breaking, and sticking to your principles. It’s not laugh out loud funny, but it is surprisingly emotional. It’s also a show that champions maturity in a way that hits harder in a 2020 world, and so it’s also very well-timed. The only problem with Ted Lasso the show is that even though it gives Apple TV+ a recognizable character to market, it’s not a must-subscribe show. But it’s unquestionably one of Apple TV+’s best.
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It's been 1 year since Apple TV+ began, and I have watched every one of their shows (except the kids stuff)! Here's my ranking... [No Spoilers]
In one year, Apple TV+ has released a pretty solid slate of original material. Not including children-oriented content, Apple TV+ has released 20 series, 3 miniseries, 9 movies, and 2 talk shows. From the start, Apple has said that the goal of the content is on quality, not quantity. But…has it lived up to that? 34 - Greatness Code - Documentary Summary: Each episode features a different athlete talking about a key moment in their careers. The show features athletes from many different sports, including basketball’s LeBron James, soccer’s Alex Morgan (sorry…footballer Alex Morgan), snowboarder Shaun White, sprinter Usain Bolt, swimmer Katie Ledecky, surfer Kelly Slater, and (American) footballer Tom Brady (who is a co-producer). My Take: This is the easy winner for the worst thing on Apple TV+. The only good thing about this “show” is that the episodes are usually no more than 10 minutes long. The monologues by the athletes are…fine. There’s nothing you haven’t really heard before here. The problem is that the special effects take away from actually seeing the athlete in action. Almost every bit of action has some animation or filter or something over it, so we almost never actually see the events being discussed. It’s pretty ridiculous. After watching this, I genuinely wondered if this series was intended to be part of Apple TV+’s children’s offerings, because that is the only level where it could at all seem “great”. 33 - Oprah Talks Covid-19 - News (Miniseries) Summary: Not long after the COVID-19 pandemic started major lockdowns across the United States, Oprah quickly began to do online interviews with people who she hoped would bring perspective and uplifting messages, from celebrities to pastors to nurses to people who had experienced isolation in prison and the holocaust. This series ran for nearly a month from mid-March to mid-April in 2020. My Take: One of Oprah’s three series, this one is the lowest ranked just because much of the information within it is out of date, and is aimed at people at a certain time, which was months ago. But in a way, it’s a bit of a time capsule of the early parts of the pandemic in the public eye, which is interesting. It’s almost as interesting to see the production value (or lack there of), as the majority of the episodes are screen recordings of online interviews. It’s perhaps only worth watching now for being a curiosity, but Apple and Oprah did good getting something up in a timely fashion. 32 - Amazing Stories - Adventure Summary: An anthology series executive produced by Steven Spielberg, the show brings back the “Amazing Stories” brand with five independent stories about incredible adventures that play with sci-fi and fantasy about regular people put in amazing situations. My Take: Amazing Stories was to be one of Apple TV’s tentpoles for the summer. Unfortunately, the series landed flat, and is by far the biggest disappointment. It’s yet another TV series that original co-Producer Bryan Fuller left. The show was originally to have ten episodes, it ended up with just five. The stories were not very groundbreaking, though they were beautifully shot. It might be worth checking out for Robert Forster’s last project before he died (Dynoman and the Volt), and for the touching “The Heat” about high school runners from Oakland. 31 - Home - Documentary Summary: As you might imagine, this documentary series is not just about the architecture of a house, but about the people behind building and designing them. Each episode features a different house and story, with houses chosen from around the world, from urban environments like Chicago and Hong Kong to remote locations in Maine and Bali. My Take: Although cable and streaming is littered with television programs about houses and architecture, this show passes on the drama, which helps Home become a documentary, and not a reality show. The cinematography is predictably beautiful, but the pacing is slow, and it’s very hard to really get into. It doesn’t help that a couple of the home builders behind the stories are honestly not very likable. The final episode of the first season is really good, but ultimately, this show is a bit of a snooze beyond the real enthusiasts. 30 - Dads - Documentary (Movie) Summary: Directed by Bryce Dallas Howard, this movie looks at fathers across the many levels of fatherhood, anchored by Howard’s own relationship with her father, actodirector Ron Howard, and her grandfather Archie, as well as Bryce’s non-celebrity brother who is an expecting father. The movie shifts to stories about fathers from around the world, and back to the Howards, to celebrate the ever-shifting role of fatherhood in modern society. My Take: This documentary is a sweet, if simple, tribute to modern fatherhood. There’s nothing special here, it does exactly what you would expect it to. It has cameo interviews from comedian fathers, interspersed with random recordings of fathers from home movies and social media, and stories of fathers in different situations. There’s nothing bad about it, but it’s pretty dry overall. It’s not a waste, but it’ll probably end up being the thing you see in the list and say “Oh, I’ll watch that another time…”, which might as well be next Father’s Day with your dad. 29 - Dear… - Documentary Summary: A documentary series that details the history and life of various individual celebrities, and uses letters written by people they have affected to frame those celebrities’ impact on people and society. My Take: Apple has used the advertising method of using letters written to Apple or Tim Cook about how things have changed their lives (particularly the Apple Watch), and in that context this series feels like, well, advertising. Not to take anything away from the celebrities involved, but the marketing push feels very heavy here. And, of course, one of the celebrities featured is Oprah, who is a big presence in ATV+. It also gets absurd with one episode around Big Bird (in character); of course, the Muppets have a spin-off in the kids section of ATV+ called Helpsters. It’s best with the smaller names, where even I learned a little bit. It’s a decent feel-good if that’s what you’re looking for. 28 - Long Way Up - Documentary (Miniseries) Summary: The third docu-series by Ewan McGregor and his best friend Charley Boorman as they take a long road trip by motorcycle. This trip, they are traveling from the southern tip of South America up to Los Angeles, and are doing it (almost) entirely on electric vehicles. The series highlights both the places they visit along the way, and the travails (and successes) of using these new, custom-made electric motorcycles. (The other two series Long Way Round and Long Way Down have also been added to ATV+, though they are not ‘Apple Originals’.) My Take: I’ve got to be honest, it’s hard to get into watching others take a road trip. It’s nice enough. The footage is beautiful, as they use everything from GoPro helmet cams to drones to capture the scenery. But the major source of tension here is Range Anxiety, and the biggest drama is in whether or not they can do it all on electric bikes. Still, it’s interesting to see parts of South America many aren’t familiar with, including deserts and the vast Patagonia. And Ewan does seem like someone that would be a great bloke to be mates with. Some people will really enjoy this, I’m just not one of them. 27 - The Elephant Queen - Documentary (Movie) Summary: Narrated by the soft-spoken Chiwetel Ejiofor, an elephant herd must navigate the climate of the savannah to survive. Led by the matriarch, they must migrate before the dry season hits to stay around water, and then return to their normal grazing land. Along the way, we meet the many other creatures of the savannah and face the changing climates and droughts that get in the way of these pachyderms. My Take: A documentary much in the style of the old Disney documentaries, the Elephant Queen does a lot of anthropomorphizing its subjects, who range from elephants to dung beetles, and follows them through a difficult season. It is borderline kids-oriented, but adults might enjoy this as well. It’s not afraid to delve into some sad situations, and there is an overriding theme of what happens in droughts that can not be ignored. A sweet film, perhaps a bit saccharine. 26 - Hala - Drama (Movie) Summary: Hala is a Pakistani-American teenage girl and her trying to balance her family and cultural pressures with being a teen in America. She longs to be out of the pressures of her family’s culture as she interacts with friends and teachers outside of the home. When she does try to act out, she begins to discover more about her family, both discovering secrets and sides she never knew about, as she discovers more about herself. My Take: Apple TV+’s first fictional feature film release, this coming of age film is never really surprising, but it is a well made film that hits all the right nuances in trying to share Hala’s experience. It’s not a perfect film, as there are some shifts in tone and character that are rather sudden and jarring for the viewer, though all things considered, that’s probably what writedirector Minhal Baig was trying for. The emotions shift quickly and non-family characters disappear quickly, as it’s clear that this is Hala’s story, and not anyone else’s. It’s a solid watch. 25 - Trying - Comedy Summary: A British couple, Nikki and Jason, have decided to adopt when they have trouble conceiving. They struggle with the truly difficult process of adopting, as well as insecurities about whether or not the two (who could be called slackers) are truly ready to be, or even worthy of being, parents. My Take: This is a British comedy co-produced by BBC that is about an intensely serious subject. If you know British humor, you know that it will be very intentionally awkward, and this series can definitely hit that mark. While the show is certainly has about its two main characters (Rafe Spall and Esther Smith as the couple), it has a surprisingly large cast of supporting characters, but with only one star most Americans would know (Imelda Staunton as the most unintimidating social worker ever). It’s an interesting concept, and it finds some sweet moments, but not as many funny ones. It’s not bad, but is just okay. 24 - Oprah’s Book Club - Talk Show Summary: This was the first Oprah show to appear on Apple TV+, serving as a cross-section of Apple services (which advertises Books and Podcasts), and the only one that got to meet the pre-pandemic style of Oprah’s shows. The idea was that Oprah would interview authors and let an audience ask questions. But the series also shows the effects of the pandemic. Once the pandemic hits, the audience is gone, and it becomes direct virtual interviews for a couple of episodes before Apple and Oprah find a way to have a virtual audience. My Take: I admit, I didn’t read any of the books selected for this list. I still got something out of these shows, but more of an analysis of Oprah than the books. It did show off one of her worst traits, which is how she answers for an interviewee when they were slow to find a point, and she talked over a lot of people. But you could also see her energy change when she had a live audience versus online interviews, and even different with a virtual audience. You could also see her energy change about what books she is passionate about versus those less so. So this wasn’t a waste, but I wasn’t enthusiastic. 23 - Truth Be Told - Drama Summary: Poppy Parnell (Octavia Spencer) is a true crime podcaster after a successful career as an investigative reporter, but she comes to dwell on the first case that made her famous, where a teenager was put away for murdering his neighbor. Now an adult (played by Aaron Paul), Poppy begins talking with him to see if she made a mistake. Meanwhile, the victim’s family is forced to revisit the crime, including twin daughters (both played by Lizzy Caplan), and Poppy’s family confronts her for supporting Cave, who has joined a white supremacist gang in prison. My Take: This show has an incredible cast, with Michael Beach, Mekhi Phifer, and Ron Cephas Jones in big supporting roles. Race is an unavoidable part of this story, but so is culture, as Poppy is split between her family’s blue-collar roots in Oakland, and the Silicon Valley lifestyle she now lives with her husband across the bay. The Bay Area setting of this series is a big part of the symbolism. The problem is that the mystery viewers came for was never really important. This would’ve been a good third season of a show, once a status quo for these characters had been found, rather than a confusing first season with lots of subplots. 22 - Central Park - Animation Summary: Animated by the people behind Bob’s Burgers and created in part by Josh Gad, Central Park is an animated musical. The show revolves around the family of the manager of Central Park (Leslie Odom Jr.), and the villainous hotel owner (Stanley Tucci) who wants to undermine the park to buy it and develop it. Gad plays the busker at the park who serves as the audience’s narrator, and it plays like musical theater, with songs written by a range of artists, including Fiona Apple, Sara Bareilles, Cyndi Lauper, Aimee Mann, Alan Menken and Glenn Slater, and Meghan Trainor, among many others. My Take: The show is silly, but not always in a funny way. The music is reminiscent of the irreverent nature of Avenue Q, and has some star power behind it, though a lot of the music is just meh. I’m not surprised my favorite song, “Spoiler Alert”, was cowritten by Alan Menken of 90’s Disney musical fame. The story, however, very often deviates from the main thrust of the plot and doesn’t seem like it’s going anywhere at times, as it’s more bothered with the humor in ridiculous situations, like the park manager’s son being obsessed with the villain’s dog Champagne. Ultimately, though, the show is just meh. The humor is fine, the story is barely relevant, and the majority of the music will not be found on many people’s playlists going forward, although of course you can find it all on Apple Music. This show has been one of Apple TV’s only controversies, however. The cast is made from many of Gad’s friends. That led to some controversy, as Gad chose stars before choosing parts. Kristen Bell was put into the role of a bi-racial character, and the two villainous women in the series were played by men (Stanley Tucci and Daveed Diggs, though it’s hard to fault either performance). The controversy was first brought up over the winter. After the summer’s social upheaval, Bell stepped down from the role and her former character will be played in season 2 by Emmy Raver-Lampman. Bell will return as a new character in season 2. 21 - On The Rocks - Comedy (Movie) Summary: Laura (Rashida Jones) is worried that her husband Dean (Marlon Wayans) may have gotten bored in their marriage and having an affair with a coworker. Laura’s father (Bill Murrary), a charming and unabashed ladies man, tries to help her figure out her suspicions as they follow Dean around. My Take: Well, Apple TV+ paid for a Sofia Coppola film, and boy, did they get one. What this means is that this is a movie where the plot is less important than the conversation, and in particular, this might as well be a 2-person play between Jones and Murray. Murray is charming as basically a more chauvinistic version of himself, and Jones deadpan is the perfect counter. Ultimately the conversations are predictable, and the very obvious plot takes away any suspense. This lets the movie’s most emotionally revelatory scene go almost completely under the radar. Ultimately, it and any lessons from this film get lost in conversation. Luckily, though, Murray and Jones are enough to carry the film and stop it from becoming just plain lost. 20 - See - Drama Summary: In the future, the world was hit with a virus that made all humans blind, and predictably led to a societal downfall. The remains of civilization live either in a world wildness has mostly reclaimed, or the ruins of what once was. The story centers on a family where two children have been born with sight, and their adoptive father (Jason Momoa) and their mother (Hera Hilmar), with friends, try to find others with sight, while being chased by a religious monarch and her soldiers, trying to rid the world of the sin of sight. My Take: One of Apple TV+’s first showcase shows, with a bankable action star in Jason Momoa and a huge budget, See ended up as one of the platform’s disappointments. The show suffers because it’s trying to world build throughout its first season, but is constantly changing the status quo of the world through its first season. Time flies for the characters, as the kids born in the first episode are teens in 3 episodes. Supporting characters are set up and then lost in the shuffle. The show does a fantastic job putting together a realistic world of how the sightless would build a civilization, but it’s not enough to make up for a plot that barely sets a status quo before blowing it up for a new quo. 19 - Bruce Springsteen’s Letter To You - Documentary (Movie) Summary: A documentary recorded while Bruce Springsteen and the E-Street Band recorded their first studio album since 2012, Letter To You was inspired as Springsteen lost a former bandmate from The Castiles, his band in the 1960’s. The documentary goes between the band playing the songs, and talking about themselves and their history. My Take: This is a solid musical documentary, but there’s nothing groundbreaking here. It was filmed in 2019, when Springsteen was 70, and there’s no avoiding that this is and old white rocker feeling nostalgic and sharing wisdom and concerns of a life having survived rock and roll. Filmed in black and white, the documentary is comfortable and the music is nice, but it kind of fades into the background even while people are talking. Bruce and 80’s rock fans will love this. Others might turn it on and forget it’s playing. 18 - Little America - Comedy Summary: A serial about the immigrant experience, Little America tells different stories about the immigrant life in America, from different time periods and different original countries. Whether it be a child prodigy who is left behind when his parents are deported, an African immigrant interested in becoming a cowboy, or a silent retreat where language is not a barrier, this serial tries to tell stories from every background My Take: With Executive Producers Kumail Nanjiani and Emiliy V. Gordon as the true star power, this anthology series looks at eight different stories about immigrants living in America, all inspired by real life stories. Quality varies per episode, and sometimes it gets a little predictable and repetitive. Still, it has enough high points to work overall. My personal favorites were “The Manager” and “The Grand Prize Expo Winner”, the latter doing an amazing job of humanizing an often-mocked stereotype in media. 17 - The Oprah Conversation - Talk Show Summary: Oprah’s intended talk show to bring in celebrities and experts and talk to them, but because of the pandemic, it is without a live audience. However, Oprah brings guests in remotely with huge and small screens that feels futuristic, not limiting in the way many pandemic shows have been. Oprah and the guest are in separate spaces but both are professionally filmed, and the limited audience members are present like portraits on the wall in a gallery. My Take: Of the three Oprah shows, this feels most like “Oprah”. Due to the timing of the show after social upheaval, many episodes take on the subject of race and race relations. But others are oddly promotional, like Mariah Carey (who coincidentally has a holiday special coming with Apple TV) and Matthew McConaughey (and his new book). The episodes about race are particularly worth watching (as a white man, who is often uncomfortable talking about race). This is definitely peak Oprah. 16 - Little Voice - Drama Summary: Sara Bareilles, Jordy Nelson, and. J.J. Abrams are the powerhouses behind this series, a sweet but not exactly groundbreaking story about a singer-songwriter trying to make it in New York. Bess (Brittany O’Grady) is a songwriter with anxiety about performing, despite a father in the business. As Bess tries to overcome her anxiety, she has to deal with her autistic brother (Kevin Valdez, an actor who is actually on the spectrum), her roommate/best friend, a coworker at the bar who wants to be her manager, a new musician partner, a potential love interest or two, and her alcoholic father and absent mother. That’s all. My Take: It works on the back of star Brittany O’Grady, and a compelling cast of people around her life, especially Valdez’s performance, which is one of the most realistic portrayals of autism you’ll find. Bareilles wrote the music, which is beautiful as usual. Where the show falters is that it seems like it’s trying to do every single possible story at once, and every episode feels manic. It almost seems to exhaust every possible plot point and stumbling block in one season. But O’Grady and the music help you keep watching. 15 - The Banker - Drama (Movie) Summary: Inspired by a true story, this movie follows Bernard Garrett (Anthony Mackie), an African-American prodigy, as he makes himself a success in Los Angeles real estate in the 1950’s and 60’s, and tries to move into banking in his home state of Texas. He and his wife (Nia Long) partners with businessman Joe Morris (Samuel L. Jackson) and white front-man Matt Steiner (Nicholas Hoult) to try and succeed in two racist industries. My Take: One of Apple TV’s first movies, The Banker has big name stars in Avengers stars Mackie and Jackson and a big-time story. The movie is fast paced and at times feels like skimming a book. It doesn’t skimp on laughs in the first half (with Jackson providing his own laugh track), but it does get much more serious in the second half as it and the characters directly address the racism around them. This is the first Apple TV+ movie that feels distinctly “Hollywood”, both in style in structure. That helps raise ATV+’s profile, but it puts limits this film as well. It’s a good story and worth watching, but is not ground-breaking, and clearly is not an in-depth or entirely accurate look at the story. It was also a source of a major controversy, as the movie’s release was delayed by allegations of childhood sexual abuse were levied against Bernard Garrett Jr., the son of the main character and a producer on the film, by his half sisters and their mother. 14 - Tehran - Thriller Summary: An “Apple Original” in title only, this show was made in Israel for their public channel Kan 11, and Apple purchased the international rights. It follows Tamar Rabinyan (Niv Sultan), a young Jewish spy who was born in Iran, as she is inserted into Tehran to try and neutralize Iran’s air defenses so Israel can bomb their nuclear plant. The plot is foiled in the first episode, and Tamar is sent on the run in an enemy city, pursued by the head investigator of the Revolutionary Guard Faraz Kamali (Shaun Toub). My Take: In many ways, this is a fairly standard spy thriller. There’s a mission, it goes wrong, and everyone is sent scrambling. Tehran gets points, from this American viewer, for exploring the largely unexplored environment of urban Iran (albeit filmed in Athens). The characters switch between Hebrew, Farsi, and English very quickly, which is challenging to hearead. But ultimately, this is a personal spy story of pawns in a bigger war, as the scope grows with each episode. There’s plenty of grey in every side of this conflict. Even with the scope, Tehran gets bogged down and the middle episodes feel filled with filler. Ultimately, it’s solid, and does feel different than most spy shows. And though we get a satisfying resolution, the door is left open for season 2, which is as yet officially unannounced (but reported that they are signed on for two more seasons). 13 - Boys State - Documentary (Movie) Summary: Every year, young men are brought together in the Texas State Capitol for what is basically a political science camp, where they are broken into their own political parties, and must come up with a platform and compete in an election for roles inspired by state government. During it, these 16-18-year old boys must work together while competing against each other, and learning what politics are. My Take: A documentary about young men’s mock political competition in Texas, you’ve probably just envisioned something about what this looks like, and no doubt, you’ll probably see exactly that in this documentary. But this Sundance Documentary-winning film doesn’t quite go the way you think, but also close enough that it might not matter. These teens have more nuance than I would’ve expected, and I wish adults had in politics. But it has too much nuance to be received well, I think. Still, if you want a reason to watch this, I’d put money that at least one of the featured boys in this becomes a politician of note in the near future. Also, I am interested in seeing a documentary about the same event for girls, Girls State. 12 - Tiny World - Documentary Summary: Narrated by Ant-Man’s Paul Rudd, Tiny World takes a look at the world of small animals living in diverse natural habitats around the world. Ranging from the African savannah to the Australian outback to the north American backyard, the show features animals from monkeys that can fit in the palm of your hand, down to the ants that are ever-present. My Take: Nature documentaries are everywhere, but the cinematography on this is mind-blowing to the point you truly wonder how some of this was shot. Clearly, a large amount of it was manipulated, with rare parts where the CGI shows through, but it doesn’t take away from just how beautiful the shots are. With Rudd’s occasionally wry narration, it makes this a nature documentary that competes with the best stuff on Netflix. The nature never gets too gory, but it does deal with the life and death (sometimes brutal) of tiny nature. And it’s even a great follow-up to the movie “The Elephant Queen” because the first episode features what could be the same dung beetle that featured in that movie! (The movie and this series were not done by the same company, though, so it might just be a look-alike dung beetle they hired.) 11 - Beastie Boys Story - Documentary Summary: A telling of the Beastie Boys career, by the surviving members Mike “Mike D” Diamond and Adam “Ad-Rock” Horovitz themselves. Directed by Spike Jonze, this documentary is shot as the two tell their story to a live audience in a theater, alternating between them on stage laughing and joking around, and video sequences they narrate about their career, and their friends, especially the late Adam “MCA” Yauch. My Take: This is such an unusual format for a documentary, and it works so well. It allows for some of the goofing off that one might expect from the stars, but it’s still coherent and interesting, especially for me as a casual fan of the band growing up. On a service with a lot of traditionally-made documentaries, this stands out because of both its style and its quality, and if you like pop music at all, you should enjoy this. 10 - For All Mankind - Drama Summary: An alternate history series based off a simple question: What if the Soviet Union beat America to the moon? From Battlestar Galactica’s Ronald D. Moore, the answer is that the Americans, more competitive than ever, try to push for more ambitious goals than just landing on the moon and leaving. My Take: One of the first Apple TV shows, it is a sometimes nerdy but very interesting look at the space race. It balances fictional characters with real life figures (sometimes making interesting decisions when changing their fate), and really tries to focus on the science side of science fiction. The show jumps across years of development, so it’s not as tedious and slow as it could be. It hasn’t captured fans’ imaginations as much as it obviously has its creators’ imaginations, but it’s a quality drama that could get better in future seasons, although it is clearly now swerving to the fiction side of science fiction. 9 - Home Before Dark - Drama Summary: Hilde Lisko (Brooklynn Prince) is a 9-year old daughter of a journalist who wants to do what he does. When her family moves from New York to her father’s small hometown in Washington, she stumbles onto a mysterious death and does what any reporter would do: writes about it in her blog. But as the mystery expands to her father’s past, she challenges an entire city’s reluctance to face up to a tragedy from decades ago, in the name of journalism. My Take: A dark horse series that did not get much press, Home Before Dark seems like a show for kids, but is a show is made for adults, with a mystery of twists and turns more like Gone Girl than any children’s show. Prince is the star of this show and keeps viewers attached, even as the mystery’s twists get harder to follow. The show is vaguely inspired by a real life young journalist, but realistically is not at all the same story. It doesn’t matter, as this is as much about family and youthful stubbornness as anything else. 8 - Dickinson - Comedy Summary: A historical comedy-drama about the life of poet Emily Dickinson (Hailee Steinfeld), this show follows her as a modern-thinking woman in a restrictive 19th century setting, growing up as a teenager. It shows both what’s going on around her, and into her imaginative flights of fancy as she deals with romantic trysts, less-than-friendly friends, and restrictive parents (notably Jane Krakowski as her mother Emily). My Take: One of the first series from Apple TV+, Dickinson is an ambitious series, but shifts between being a period piece with setting-appropriate acting, and characters acting like modern people but set in the past. As great as parts are, it does struggle with focus and tone, particularly John Mulaney’s guest role as Henry David Thoreau, which feels better suited for a Will Ferrell absurdist comedy than what this show is trying to be. Steinfeld shines in the lead role, but Ella Hunt as Dickinson’s best friend Sue and Jane Krakowski as her mother both are fantastic. The relationship between Dickinson and her best friend Sue, and hints about Dickinson’s deteriorating mental health, are both handled very well. This is a show that has a chance to really find its footing in future seasons. 7 - Greyhound - Action (Movie) Summary: Captain Ernest Krause (Tom Hanks) has been given command of a destroyer, and a convoy of supply ships to cross the U-Boat infested Atlantic early in World War II. Without air cover, he spends days awake, attempting to outmaneuver an enemy he can not see, or even count. As ships in his convoy are attacked one by one, he must save as many as he can before getting back under the protective air cover from Great Britain. My Take: A movie that really was meant for the big screen, Greyhound is not interested in your character development or subplots or mandatory romances (mostly). After an initial scene introducing Krause in the lone bit of character development, this movie is about the tense travel of the Atlantic with submarines hunting you. It never shows the human villains, only the occasional peak at the metal beasts when they surface. It also doesn’t jump between ships on this convoy. Strictly a single viewpoint, which makes for a fascinatingly and a little fatiguingly tense film that is shorter than it feels (only 91 minutes!) because of the thrills. This movie is a fantastically different take on the war films we know, and especially for those with military experience, a strong film. 6 - Servant - Drama Summary: Without significant spoilers, the show focuses on a couple who recently suffered the loss of a child, and have undertaken a real doll therapy, where they take care of a doll to help the psychological effects of losing a child, and go so far as to bring in a mysterious young girl to be the doll’s nanny. Over the span of the series, secrets about the nanny, and the troubles of the couple themselves, slowly leak out. My Take: M. Night Shymalan’s first television show is a return to the Shymalan of his early years. With the space of a series instead of a movie, Shymalan has the room to explore each character: the almost-grieving mother (Lauren Ambrose), the disaffected and disbelieving husband (Toby Kebbell), the mysterious nanny (Nell Tiger Free), and the doubtful brother of the wife (Rupert Grint, Ron from Harry Potter), who acts as an outside world anchor. By the end, it feels a bit as if the original mystery has become a subplot, but it’s left on a cliffhanger the will leap the plot forward. And throughout the series, Shymalan allows food to be a visual cue and cinematographic toy, setting the mood. This ranks as one of Shymalan’s better stories from his long career. 5 - Visible: Out on Television - Documentary (Miniseries) Episodes: 5; Stauts: Completed Summary: A documentary series about how all facets of LGBTQ people have been represented on television, from the 1950’s through today. As a series, the documentary takes time with many the facets of every letter in LGBTQ, and all the letters hidden within it, talking about struggles of people of color. With interviews and clips, it takes it’s time with different eras and weaves it all together. And it’s all done with an undertone of how storytelling works, and the tool that television is, both for misinformation but also for connection. My Take: Making this a series really allows the time to give this topic the time to really explore it. It’s an engaging documentary, especially for anyone who’s spent any time watching television. There’s nuggets of memory for all of us, where we can connect to the shows we used to watch, both their flaws and triumphs. Certain critics might point to this as Apple trying to force representation down our throats, but this documentary is excellent at telling a compelling story with both history and context. 4 - The Morning Show - Drama Summary: Apple TV+’s centerpiece, with superstar stars Reese Witherspoon, Jennifer Aniston, and Steve Carrell, and yet a scene-stealing supporting cast of Gugu Mbahta-Raw, Billy Crudup (who won an Emmy for his role), Mark Duplass, and Jack Davenport (who is never not good), the show is about a, believe it or not, morning show whose male lead is fired in a sexual misconduct scandal and the after-effects. Witherspoon’s character is unexpectedly brought in to replace him, as power battles go on behind the scenes with everyone from the network head down to the assistant producers, as the secrets spill out about the truth. My Take: What could be a preachy show about the MeToo movement never gets that way, and attempts a nuanced discussion about the less clear-cut issues. It’s not done perfectly, as some conflicts from the episodic storyline seem to disappear in the next episode, and Mitch is frustratingly (and probably intentionally) likable even as he is hate-able, with Carell showing his range. One flaw of this show is that the extremely likable supporting cast pulls attention away from Aniston and Witherspoon, the former being appropriately lauded with praise but not getting enough to win awards, and the latter getting a little stuck in her character spot. The season finale flurry hits hard, even if it doesn’t feel completely earned, but this show has definitely become the first bankable piece ATV+ has. 3 - Defending Jacob - Drama (Miniseries) Summary: A boy is murdered, and after an investigation, suspicion falls on one of his classmates, Jacob, who is the son of Andy Barber, one of the assistant district attorneys (Chris Evans). Andy and his wife Laurie (Michelle Dockery) must do their best to defend their son, investigating other leads, but also facing the possibility that their son is guilty, and hiding family secrets. My Take: Starring Captain America’s Chris Evans, Defending Jacob became the summer hit for Apple TV+, drawing viewers in. The tension between Andy and his wife Laurie, and their slightly creepy son Jacob (Jaeden Martell) as the teen is accused of murder, is filled with tension and, unlike many of the series on Apple TV, comes to a full conclusion in one season. Fans of mysteries like Gone Girl will appreciate this series. Although it can feel slightly stretched, this series hits hard and makes the most of its star power. 2 - Mythic Quest: Raven’s Banquet - Comedy Summary: Mythic Quest is an online game akin to World of Warcraft, and it’s launching a new expansion to keep its fans engaged. The studio is led by a charmingly sycophantic designer Ian (pronounced EYE-an, played by Rob Mcelhenney), and lead engineer Poppy (Charlotte Nicdao). With a staff of obsessive assistants, disinterested programmers, earnest game testers, snippy game streamers, and an elderly lead writer lost in technology, the show hops along the daily struggles of keeping a game going and its fans happy. My Take: An absolute home run of a show, as one would expect from the team behind It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Mythic Quest is absurdist comedy at its best, with McElhenney and a breakout performance from Nicdao. However, it’s also an ensemble cast with no weak spots, and a wonderfully obvious premise that is contemporary. It is at its best in two standalone episodes. The first comes out of nowhere, not featuring the main cast but instead acts as a “How the Game Industry Got Here” prequel in heartbreakingly personal fashion. The second is a special Quarantine episode that was perhaps the best quarantine-focused special episode done anywhere. 1 - Ted Lasso - Comedy Summary: An American Football coach is inexplicably hired as a Soccer…er, real Football coach in the Premiere League in London. The titular Lasso is genuine and earnest, openly saying he doesn’t think winning has to do with the score, and he faces a soccer world where the opposite is true. He faces disbelieving players, abusive fans, unsure team staff, and a devious owner, but he barely blinks in the face of it all, and tries to keep his team from relegation…once he learns what that means. My Take: An absolute surprise of a show, based on NBC Sports comedy promos, that has no right to be so great. Ted Lasso is on its face a fish-out-of-water sports show about an American football coach going to Europe to coach football/soccer. But it’s really a movie about a polite man in an impolite world, and bending rather than breaking, and sticking to your principles. It’s not laugh out loud funny, but it is surprisingly emotional. It’s also a show that champions maturity in a way that hits harder in a 2020 world, and so it’s also very well-timed. The only problem with Ted Lasso the show is that even though it gives Apple TV+ a recognizable character to market, it’s not a must-subscribe show. But it’s unquestionably one of Apple TV+’s best.
Which part of the UK produces the best footballers? (Experiment) (Part 1)
After taking inspiration from u/Mel0n_collie world cup thread, I’ve set up a similar experiment which I’m planning to simulate on Football Manager 2020 which has kept me busy over the last few weekends during lockdown. Hopefully, this experiment will provide the answer to the following questions: Which part of the UK produces the best footballers? Where do the real footballing hotbeds lie in the UK? What if the Premier League was split into 20 teams representing UK regions of equal population? Essentially, I’ve split up the UK into 20 equal(ish) geographical regions, with the idea being that each region has a team made up of players born in that region. I’ve used this website which shows the population of each county, I then calculated that each team should be made up of players from a region of 3.26m people (65.171m/20). Teams are filled up with whole counties, except for Greater London which has been split up into 3 regions due to having around 9m people in total. Note:Due to the diversity of the county populations and the challenges of geographically dividing the UK, some teams have slightly more/less than the aforementioned 3.26m people. Split of Counties into Teams https://preview.redd.it/2ney8b7fobz41.png?width=777&format=png&auto=webp&s=664a8a135dc29363406a819c89c296d339db1934 Here we have it, the 20 regions have been split up. Team 14 (Greater Manchester) have the smallest population but hopefully the produce of the academies of Premier League giants Man Utd and Man City will come to the fore. Team 7 has the largest population, but it remains to be seen whether this will translate into footballing ability just yet. I have also made some maps using my below-average paint skills to help visualise the split geographically. I picked each team using a database of players from Football Manager 2020. I extracted a list of players into excel and began manually allocating each player to a team based on their city of birth (according to FM). Ultimately, I ended up on a squad of 25 players for each team and have tried my best to allocate an even positional spread throughout each squad so that the AI managers aren’t forced to play any ridiculously attacking/defensive formations. Squads have been loosely picked around current ability, reputation and transfer value. Each team will be managed by a manager born from the region they are managing. I’ve allocated the manager with the highest reputation in each region according to FM to each team. This will add an extra element to the experiment and will be to interesting to see how much of an influence some of the better managers will have on their respective teams. I will be posting the teams in groups of 5 over 4 posts, I will also be running a predictions game when all the 20 teams have been released so keep an eye out for that. I will then be posting the results of the simulation and prediction game on the fifth and final post. Without further ado, I will reveal the first 5 teams one by one below in numerical order (I would also like some suggestions on team names for each region, as I am aware they’re not very creative!) __________ Team 1 – South-West - Cornwall, Devon, Dorset, Somerset – Population: 3,450,896.00 Media Prediction: 16th - Title Odds: 350-1 Manager – Darren Way (Plymouth, Plymouth U18) https://preview.redd.it/4ectj9vpobz41.png?width=510&format=png&auto=webp&s=2d967a07ea6011c4cf8ea7f6ac9a2ee83fc44d0e Likely Starting XI A region famous for Pasties, Cheese and Cider, the South West has brought to the nation many good things but unfortunately footballers (and managers) don’t seem to follow that trend. I had to search long and hard to find a manager that was born in this region. I eventually found Darren Way, who according to FM is the current Plymouth Argyle U18 Manager who recently had a spell in charge of League Two side Yeovil Town. Predicted to be in the bottom five come the end of the season, this squad seems like it will need a manager with a bit more experience to do anything of note. The squad lacks all round quality, especially fullbacks, lets hope Darren Way is impartial to a 3 at the back system. Stand out players include Leeds United defender Ben White who has had a great season in the championship this year, Tyrone Mings, who has recently won his first England caps and Austrian U20 capped Burnley striker Ashley Barnes who looks like the best attacking option in the side. Amongst the rest of the team, Scott Sinclair and Nathan Dyer look like they’ll occupy the flanks and will be hoping to re-ignite the success they both had together at Swansea back in the 2011/12 season. Jack Butland and John Ruddy will be competing for the number one shirt, who along with Tyrone Mings, share the squads total England caps (11) between them. The team also some exciting young talent in Ethan Ampadu and Xavier Amaechi, who are both currently learning their trade in the Bundesliga. Arguably the best player in the Championship this year to date, Ollie Watkins will be hopeful to add some more goals to his ever increasing tally. I am not hopeful for this team, considering the lack of top players and with the inexperienced Darren Way in charge but I’m hoping he can prove me wrong! __________ Team 2 – South-East - East Sussex, West Sussex, Kent – Population: 3,495,475 Media Prediction: 20th - Title Odds: 600-1 Manager: Lee Johnson (Newmarket, Bristol City) https://preview.redd.it/bxyum58xpbz41.png?width=539&format=png&auto=webp&s=290fe752211ad1ae898e9eb0fe2fffe16538aee1 Likely Starting XI Up next, we have the combined counties of Sussex and Kent, the South East of England. Taking the reigns is Lee Johnson, current Bristol City manager, who has done well in recent years in the championship. However, in terms of ability it doesn’t get much worse. The media have predicted them to be rock bottom at the end of the season and have offered odds of 600-1 for a title win for Lee Johnson’s men. The squad does boast the experience of Gareth Barry, who is the record all-time premier league appearance maker (653) and has also been capped 53 times by his country will be a frontrunner for captain duties. Sunderland ‘til I die fan favourite Jonny Williams makes an appearance in midfield along with Solly March who looks to be the most promising player in the final third. The goalkeeper spot looks to be an issue with not one of the three goalkeepers being the first-choice keeper in their respective championship club sides. However, the Brighton duo of Lewis Dunk and Adam Webster look to be a solid partnership at the back and will be hoping to limit the amount of shots at goal. With weaknesses in goal and up front, the media’s prediction is probably warranted, lack of goals looks to be a big worry with none of the forwards seeming to have top-level experience. I would be impressed with Lee Johnson if he could lead the South-East to safety with the resources at his disposal. __________ Team 3 – South Coast - Hampshire, Isle of Wight, Surrey – Population: 3,135,638 Media Prediction: 8th - Title Odds: 30-1 Manager: Neal Ardley (Epsom, Notts County) https://preview.redd.it/myk6l7clqbz41.png?width=617&format=png&auto=webp&s=863311423567a60bc3fd4beca94decfb9384bea3 Likely Starting 11 South Coast is managed by former Wimbledon and Watford winger Neal Ardley, current manager of National League side Notts County. Another manager who lacks top level experience will be hoping to make his mark at a higher level. This team has a bit of quality compared to the previous two and has plenty of premier league experience with a total of 10 players capped by their country. England Internationals Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain and Mason Mount have genuine quality in the midfield and will be hoping to create the supply for Danny Ings to grab plenty of goals. However, In defence, Calum Chambers is the stand out player out of an average bunch. Neil Etheridge, who qualifies for the Philippines by virtue of his Filipino mother will compete with Southampton number one, Alex McCarthy for the starting keeper spot. Described as a ‘fairly determined’ squad, South Coast have a lot of industry in the team with players like Matt Ritchie, James Ward-Prowse and Tom Cleverley and will be hoping that this translates on to the pitch with some good performances. The overall verdict in this squad is that they have enough ability and experience to finish the top half and could even push top four in my opinion. __________ Team 4 – South & West London - London Boroughs: Westminster, Kensington and Chelsea, Hammersmith and Fulham, Wandsworth, Islington, Camden, Brent, Ealing, Hounslow, Richmond upon Thames, Kingston upon Thames, Merton, Sutton, Croydon – Population: 3,369,408 Media Prediction: 6th - Title Odds: 9-1 Manager: Roy Hodgson (Croydon, Crystal Palace) https://preview.redd.it/yyb6xy0erbz41.png?width=580&format=png&auto=webp&s=dd158544449df1eb805284797573675ff88a4196 Likely Starting XI The first of the three London teams, which spans most of south and west London is managed by Crystal Palace’s Roy Hodgson. Roy has been a football manager since 1976 and has a wealth of experience to draw upon, including a four-year spell as manager of his country. Despite being at the ripe old age of 72, Roy isn’t the oldest manager in the league.. The squad, tipped by the media to finish 6th, is an exciting young squad with plenty of players tipped to be a big part of England’s future. Premier League loanees Freddie Woodman and Jamal Blackman (who is currently playing at Bristol Rovers on his 7th successive year out on loan from Chelsea) will compete for the starting keeping berth. Man Utd fullbacks Luke Shaw and Aaron Wan-Bissaka will almost certainly occupy their respective positions and will hope to offer an attacking outlet bombing on from their full back positions. One of England’s one cap wonder’s Steven Caulker, who currently plays for Turkish outfit Alanyaspor also makes an appearance in defence. In midfield, Declan Rice and Callum Hudson Odoi, both recently capped by England are the strengths which the team will rely on whilst fellow youngsters Ademola Lookman and Steven Alzate who has twice been capped for Colombia will also be looking to make an impact. In Attack, Euro 2016 hero Thomas Henry Alex (Hal) Robson-Kanu, Sone Aluko and Lewis Grabban will all fancy themselves to start. The youthful squad will bring a lot of pace and energy to the league and Roy Hodgson will be hoping for a top six finish at minimum. I think the squad has enough depth and quality to potentially go all the way. __________ Team 5 – East London - London Boroughs: City of London, Lambeth, Southwark, Tower Hamlets, Hackney, Bromley, Lewisham, Greenwich, Bexley, Havering, Barking and Dagenham, Newham– Population: 3,009,408 Media Prediction: 1st - Title Odds: 4-1 Manager: Chris Hughton (Forest Gate, Unemployed) https://preview.redd.it/5xjrm7rlrbz41.png?width=467&format=png&auto=webp&s=d8a8181cad75f86378130f0ca1dc0c49dc7f517d Likely Starting XI The Media’s favourites, made up of London Boroughs including and east of City of London is the 2nd smallest in terms of catchment area but certainly doesn’t lack quality. Ex-Brighton manager Chris Hughton is in the dug out and has a strong team which looks to have Premier League level quality all round apart from maybe in the goalkeeper position in which Fulham’s Marcus Bettinelli appears to be the likely candidate to start. An all premier league back four consisting of Nathaniel Clyne, Joe Gomez, Chris Smalling and Ryan Bertrand, share 74 England caps between them look to be solid partnership and will be hoping to keep as many clean sheets as possible in order to be in with a chance in the title race. Key man, Jadon Sancho, one of, if not the most exciting player in the league, will be hoping to chip in with as many goals and assists as possible from wherever Chris Hughton deploys him. Jadon has 14 goals and 15 assists in 21 starts this year in the Bundesliga and should be uncontrollable for some of the defences he will be up against . Talented Ruben Loftus-Cheek will be hoping to remain injury free throughout the season and make a good partnership with Jonjo Shelvey who will be looking to dictate play in the middle of the park. Bradley Dack, who according to FM is likely to play off Chelsea’s Tammy Abraham will be looking to provide enough chances for Tammy who should have enough with the level of creative quality surrounding him. Overall, A very strong team who will be hoping to keep Jadon Sancho injury free all season. Probably rightly favourites for the title, however, will face tough opposition from some of the teams yet to come… __________ That’s all for today folks, I hoped you enjoyed the concept and are looking forward to finding out the level of quality each of the remaining teams have in store. I’ll be posting the next five teams in the next post, so keep an eye out! Also let me know if i've potentially missed anyone or made any errors.
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Good morning from the UK. It’s Wednesday 1st April. Traditionally the arrival of April fools day generates a day of mirth with news outlets and corporations around the world attempting to outdo each other with hard to believe stories or wacky new product announcements. This year’s April fools day seems to have been cancelled in most parts of the world by general consent (even Google has opted out) but in some parts of the world countries are making it very clear they have no tolerance for Covid-19 related april fools jokes. Thailand is threatening up to 5 years in jail for Covid-19 related April Fools jokes, Taiwan is offering up to three years in jail and/or a fine of up to NT$3 million (US$99,200) and authorities in both India and Germany have also said they will not tolerate it either (link).
Virus statistics
See reply to this post, you can't miss it, it's the one lots of tables.
Virus news in depth
US Navy captain’s dramatic plea to evacuate coronavirus-ravaged aircraft carrier Theodore Roosevelt - the SCMP is reporting that Captain Brett Crozier has pleaded to disembark all sailors from the aircraft carrier onto land at Guam (where it’s currently docked). “We are not at war. Sailors do not need to die,” Crozier wrote. 4,000 sailors are on the vessel; the latest infection count has jumped to 100. Defence Secretary Mark Esper on Tuesday ruled out evacuating the ship, whose plight bears similarities to that on civilian cruise ships where the Covid-19 illness spread. Today’s CNN live blog (link further below) says that Guam’s governor is willing to let them stay in hotel rooms provided they isolate for 14 days. Coronavirus: from China to the US, consumer behaviour radically altered as world retreats into ‘survival mode’ - The SCMP reports that amid mounting uncertainty, the coronavirus pandemic – which has claimed the lives of more than 41,000 people and infected at least 842,000 worldwide – is fundamentally changing consumer behaviour in Asia, Europe and North America. Consumer experts said the 2009 global financial crisis, the Great Depression that started in 1929 and the September 11 terrorist attacks give some clues about how and when global consumption might recover. But the complexity of this crisis, the number of variables and its magnitude make this consumer recovery unprecedented and difficult to predict, they added. “The coronavirus pandemic has completely changed patterns of consumer behaviour all over the world. People are afraid, and when people are afraid, they go into survival mode,” said Jesse Garcia, a Los Angeles-based consumer psychologist, who is also the CEO of market consulting firm My Marketing Auditors. How China’s consumer companies managed through the Covid-19 crisis - The strategy consultancy McKinsey reports some useful survival tips from Chinese companies that are now reaching the end of the first Pandemic outbreak wave. “The biggest difference is in the mentality of the organisation, which shifted from being unsettled, to one of confidence after our response became clear, and people came to terms with ex-office work routines. Once the situation was under control, we shifted to strategic planning; looking at ordering remotely for the next season. We also began to work on revised three-year plans that included much more aggressive omnichannel targets, transforming our supply chain to be more agile and other strategic moves to grow the business” said Feng Hua Song, vice president of Erdos Group and one of the top-level executives participating in the roundtable discussion. ER doctor in New York details dire supply shortages from the front lines of the coronavirus fight - CNN has a report on a per diem doctor who’s been working in multiple hospitals in New York City. "We don't have enough N95 masks. Some have run out completely. Some don't even have gowns," he said. "You can put me in the exact same ER and I would witness the exact same evolution of chaos." In another diary entry he wrote "Today was just a sign that things are getting worse and worse. I had about three deaths in the span of the first six hours, he said. "One was truly sad. (He) waited a few days for a bed, and it was too full upstairs so he stayed in the ER, and from Covid-19, he just lost his pulses. We worked on him for an hour, and then he died." He is using a ski jacket and ski googles as his own PPE because there are no alternatives.
Virus news in brief
Source today: CNN live blog or The Guardian live blog. Alternative sources linked below.
China is getting mixed results in trying to open up its economy again with some places getting flare ups and having to shut again almost immediately (Guardian story)
Hong Kong has ordered the closure of all beauty parlors, clubhouses, nightclubs, karaoke rooms and mahjong centers from Wednesday as the city steps up measures to combat a second wave of coronavirus cases. (CNN)
Taiwan's economic stimulus plan to tackle the coronavirus outbreak could reach as much as $35 billion, President Tsai Ing-wen announced. Taiwan will be donating 10 million face masks to countries most in need. (CNN)
Cuban officials announced Tuesday the country will suspend all international commercial flights to help combat the spread of coronavirus across the island. Foreign ships will also be required to leave the country. Cuba has recorded 186 cases of the novel coronavirus, with six deaths, according to Johns Hopkins University. The additional measures come one week after Cuba implemented a 30-day lockdown, restricting tourists and setting up strict quarantine measures for citizens returning to the country.
Flattening the curve - National Geographic has an interesting article about how the world flattened the curve during the 1918 Spanish flu outbreak (link)
The UK will open the doors this week on what could soon be the biggest intensive care unit in the country -- and it was built in about a week. As the number of Covid-19 cases in the UK began to rise, the National Health Service (NHS) realized it might be short many thousands of ICU beds. It hopes the solution is at a massive convention space in London’s East End. The coronavirus field hospital will be called NHS Nightingale, after the pioneering nurse Florence Nightingale. When fully running, it will have 4,000 beds.
The UK government is aiming to test 25,000 a day for Covid-19 within a fortnight, housing minister Robert Jenrick has said. Downing Street is facing mounting criticism over a perceived lack of testing compared with other nations, with only 143,186 carried out to date. By comparison, Germany is testing 70,000 a day (Guardian).
Andy Slavitt’s daily twitter thread is out. The TLDR: 1) Trump yesterday at his news conference for the 1st time began to talk about 100,000 to 200,000 casualties. He mentioned that the number without action would be 2.2 million. 60,000 Americans died in Vietnam, 620,000 in the Civil War and 1.2 million in all American wars. 2) If you listen closely, you will hear Trump say 100,000 is the number and you will hear Birx and Fauci say 100,000 to 200,000 if we are lucky. 3) Numbers floating around the White House are 400,000 and some think that requires some optimism (Personal note: for comparison, 400k = the population of New Orleans or roughly half of San Francisco).
The coronavirus pandemic has dramatically cut operations at Atlanta's Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport (the worlds busiest passenger airport) by 60%, according to an airport official. In the past 10 days, operations -- categorized by officials as the combination of departures and arrivals -- were down from 2,700 on average to 1,100 on Monday.
The Illinois Governor is frustrated: "I'm purchasing every ventilator that I can find," Pritzker said. "But we're buying them in 100 lots and 200 lots, frankly, I'm taking them 50, 20, 10, wherever I can get them." "We are going to run out of ventilators and the federal government really isn't helping at all," Pritzker said (CNN).
Wyoming is now the only US state left that is yet to report a Coronavirus related death (CNN).
The US Kroger supermarket chain announced today it would pay staff members who are still working during the coronavirus epidemic a $2 an hour "hero bonus." The extra pay will apply to all hours worked between March 29 to April 18 and will be distributed weekly to ensure staff members have extra cash (CNN).
Remember Trump promised Americans a website that will direct them to a nearby Coronavirus testing facility? It turns out the website was being built not by Google but by a company linked to Trump’s son in law. The Atlantic has more.
Pentagon has got 2,00 ventilators but has not been told where to send them. CNN has more, the backstory is a bit complicated; the TLDR is Civilian Pentagon officials had repeatedly said they are making ventilators and five million N-95 respirator masks available. So far only 1.5 million masks have been shipped by the Pentagon. Another 500,000 are to be shipped within days but HHS and FEMA have given DoD no indication of when or where they precisely want the other three million items to go. As for the ventilators, an HHS official told CNN that, "many of the DOD ventilators are deployable ventilators and require special training while the ventilators in the HHS Strategic National Stockpile (SNS) are the types of ventilators commonly used by US hospitals and are better suited for immediate use."
Governors Fight Back Against Coronavirus Chaos: ‘It’s Like Being on eBay With 50 Other States’ - In New York State — the center of the nation’s outbreak, with at least 1,550 deaths — Gov. Andrew M. Cuomo said on Tuesday that the country’s patchwork approach to the pandemic had made it harder to get desperately needed ventilators. “You now literally will have a company call you up and say, ‘Well, California just outbid you,’” Mr. Cuomo, a Democrat, said in his daily news briefing. “It’s like being on eBay with 50 other states, bidding on a ventilator.” (New York Times article in full, paywall)
CNN says that the major cruise ship operator Carnival is asking for a $6bn bailout as the cruise industry grinds to a halt (link)
Supply chain news in depth
Retooling facilities to produce ventilators could strain supply chains, medical device manufacturers warn - The Advanced Medical Technology Association (AdvaMed) says it is wary of invocation in the US of the defence production act which is compelling manufacturers to make medical ventilators according to SupplyChainDive. Their CEO praised the administration on Friday for opening up a "fast track" for automakers and non-medtech manufacturers to repurpose their production facilities to produce ventilators. At the same time, he warned "what we have to make sure of is that as new manufacturers get into the ventilator business they don’t overstress the supply chain" of component parts as well as raw materials. Given the "broad number of component parts that go into a ventilator," Whitaker contends the impact of the DPA could be "crippling." ResMed told MedTech Dive it has serious concerns about such companies pitching in. "We welcome non-ventilator manufacturers' help to build and distribute parts for ventilators, not the ventilators themselves," said a ResMed spokesperson. "Specialized ventilator manufacturers are best positioned to produce effective, clinically tested devices quickly; our top obstacle is the scarcity and increasing cost of ventilator parts. Therefore, non-ventilator makers can help most by making parts, not taking them." Congestion looms at US ports as shops and factories close and imports pile up - The Loadstar reports that as retail outlets, as well as many manufacturing operations, in North America are shuttered, anticipation of a surge of imports to compensate for China’s extended lunar new year hiatus are quickly disappearing. Instead, as more containers arrive, there are concerns about mounting storage costs. US importers have not wasted time in shifting gear – having tried to speed-up deliveries from China a few weeks ago, they are now in reverse, trying to slow down imports, or cancel them outright. “Importers are cancelling orders left and right,” said Cathy Morrow Roberson, head analyst and founder of Logistics Trends & Insights. Others, she added, were deferring shipments or looking to extend transit times, all in marked contrast to the recent rush to bring in goods from China. Bangladesh in lockdown as virus halts business and threatens the economy - Bangladesh’s key seaport, Chittagong, is facing heavy congestion in its yard as a government-decreed national holiday restricts the flow of goods. The government has declared a 10-day general holiday between 26 March and 4 April, barred people from going outside from home and halted all types of commercial activities except emergency services. Chittagong is continuing operations amid the virtual lockdown in an attempt to avoid vessel congestion and the creation of a shortage of essential goods in the domestic market. However, Bangladesh Customs is releasing only essential commodities, such as food grains, pharmaceuticals and coronavirus prevention-related materials from the port yard, as only a limited number of its officials are still working. Forwarders set to hit reverse gear as demand falls and cargo starts to pile up - Forwarders are predicting “mega-congestion” in the next couple of months, as they attempt to do the opposite of their normal job, and slow the flow of freight says LoadStar. As shop, factory and plant closures continue around the world, the name of the game now is to keep inventory where it is – increasingly difficult as terminals, yards and warehouses become congested. “Distribution centres in Europe are geared around imports and can hold a maximum of two to four weeks’ worth of stock,” said one forwarder. “After that, the impact for goods such as homewares will be huge. Where is it all going to go?” RW Freight noted on its website that “Customs authorities in China have required all non-essential goods which have been loaded on vessels for export after March 27 to be unloaded. How Panic-Buying Revealed the Problem With the Modern World - The Atlantic has an interesting article on the lessons of panic buying and also on the dangers of running the NHS at constantly full capacity instead of 85% capacity - it argues that our current JIT systems are very fragile and susceptible to unpredictable surges in consumer purchasing behaviour or viral outbreaks. “Temporary shortages are being caused by people adding just a few extra items and shopping more often,” said Fraser McKevitt, the head of retail and consumer insight at Kantar, which monitors consumer spending. The company’s study of 100,000 British shoppers found that only 6 percent of those buying liquid soap, and only 3 percent of those buying pasta, “have taken home extraordinary quantities.” Yet that relatively small, unexpected surge in demand was enough to generate social-media snapshots of bare shelves at inner-city supermarkets. When amplified by the traditional media, those frightening pictures convinced more of us that there was a problem with food supply. And, like in a bank run, perception quickly became reality. Big queues started to form. Online slots for supermarket deliveries filled up. The situation spiraled. The article also discusses the impact of cutbacks in the NHS as previous governments strove to improve efficiencies and reduce excess capacity (viewed as waste). PwC: Supply chains will broaden, diversify in the wake of coronavirus - Supplychaindive has a report on the latest PwC survey of chief finance officers regarding what they intend to do to their supply chains going forward. A growing number of CFOs expect to change the breadth of their supply chains as a result of the COVID-19 pandemic, according to 50 CFOs, mainly from U.S. Fortune 1,000 companies, surveyed by PwC. Supply chain issues remain a top-three concern for roughly one-third of the CFOs in PwC's ongoing survey. Since the last survey "financial impact, including effects on results of operations, future periods, and liquidity and capital resources," gained the most ground in terms of CFO concern, while a reduction in workplace productivity, consumer confidence and not having enough information to make decisions lost some status as a top concern. Cost containment remains the number one priority for respondents. A drop in consumer spending in Western countries is driving a new wave of blanked sailings sayssupplychaindive - MSC's decision came the same week Maersk announced it was canceling multiple trips (they’re both major container ship operators). The capacity reduction by these 2M members alone is equivalent to about a "21% capacity reduction in [Asia-Europe] trade," Sea-Intelligence Shipping Analyst Imaad Asad said in a release emailed to Supply Chain Dive. 2M is an alliance between Maersk and MSC that includes partnerships with other carriers. Drop in box shipping contract rates points to 'a recession of seismic proportions' - The Loadstar (Link) says that long-term container shipping contracts have registered their first pricing decline since last October, prompting fears that the industry is heading towards “a recession of seismic proportions”. According to figures published today by Xeneta, its crowd-sourced freight rate benchmarking platform XSI Public Indices saw a 0.5% decline in long-term contracted rates this month, following “a sustained period of growth”. Year on year, the XSI was up 5.8% on March 2019 and up 2.2% from the beginning of this year, but with coronavirus lockdowns covering large swathes of global society, container supply chains are unlikely to avoid an impending economic recession. “This is a small, yet significant, step in the wrong direction for carriers,” said Xeneta chief executive Patrik Berglund. Air cargo prices stabilising on some tradelanes - Loadstar says that some tradelanes are starting to stabilise. Airfreight prices out of Shanghai are continuing to surge, Freight Investor Services (FIS) and the TAC Index have revealed. Last week’s air freight rates on routes to the US from China rose 12.6%, to $5.72 per kg, while to Europe they were up 21.16%, at $4.58, “vastly higher than normal Q4 peak prices”, noted FIS. Much of the overall surge in prices to Europe was due to the 55.9% increase in rates to Frankfurt. However, FIS noted that the gains had levelled off slightly, in comparison with the previous week, “indicating a potential market plateau”. “This is shown in the final closing price for March, dropping 11 cents from China to Europe and a modest 4 cents from China to the US. “April and May prices are lifted by 5 and 10 cents respectively; doubt as to the strength of the future market has made the next few months far less predictable.”
Supply chain news in brief
The UK/Ireland to mainland Europe cross channel company P&O Ferries is laying off 1,100 staff as its passenger ferries go freight-only says the LoadStar - the staff members will be “furloughed” and put on 80% salary via a government scheme.
Singapore and Hong Kong have taken steps to permit badly needed freight ship crew swaps which had led to complaints at the highest level of the international maritime organisation (which is to seafreight what FIFA is to football/soccer). See here and here respectively. India is said to be introducing similar measures soon.
Visual - Flightradar has given some visuals on the how much flights have reduced by (Twitter link)
Brooks brothers (major US clothing company) has said it too is starting to make masks and gowns (link)
The Effects of COVID-19 Will Ripple through Food Systems - The Scientific American has a fascinating article on the medium term future for the food supply chain. They say that staple crops are likely to be less affected by measures to control the virus, but farmers growing more specialized ones could feel the pinch.
Good news / Humour section
A boss turned herself into a potato on a Microsoft teams meeting and couldn’t figure out how to turn it off (Twitter link)
Medtronic (a major global medical products manufacturer) has made its ventilator plans open source for anyone with the skills and parts to make (Link)
Xinhua (official China news media outlet) says 186 patients have successfully recovered from the virus and been discharged from a hospital in Wuhan (link)
Hello again! Midterms are finished for the moment, so I have some time to write again. I tried to tie together a couple of the ideas I've been batting around, please let me know what you think, y'all's comments are INCREDIBLE and always make me think about these issues in a new way. You people are fantastic! First Previous Next Dear Ranger— Ever so good to hear from you, we do enjoy trying to keep up with the social whirl of your community. If you can spare a moment, we haven’t heard from our turtle-keeping friends down the lane in the littlest bit, and we’d love to have a chat with them if it should prove convenient. Do tell us who else has been attending your lovely parties, the conversation is simply sparkling and the guest lists dazzling! All our love, Felicity and Rose “What’s it say, Skipper?” Ramirez asks from the table, where he’s sitting pretending to look unconcerned with fifteen other conspicuously-nonchalant prisoners. “They want us to look for tanks,” I answer, folding the scrap paper Dawson had transcribed the message on and popping it my mouth. “X-13s, specifically,” I mumble as I chew. Our assignment causes a cascade of speculation, as everyone rapidly proposes and discards increasingly outlandish reasons for the movement of the rare weaponry. X-13s were fearsome beasts—well armored and better armed, and faster than vehicles so large had any right to be. The Russian infantry that first encountered them called them Reapers. They were also apparently extraordinarily expensive to manufacture, and as Russian infantry destroys anything it gets within ten feet of, the Z’lask now deployed them only for the most strategically significant engagements. If we were being instructed to look specifically for them, that meant a big planetside confrontation was imminent. A feeling of furious frustration welled up with the thought, everything in me bellowing to get out of this fucking camp and back in the fight. A heavy cruiser with a good crew and tritium-tipped railgun rounds could lay down an orbital bombardment to make the Devil cower. But we’re needed here. You think you’ll help anyone by letting those tanks go unlocated? Right. The Z’lask, bound by the Code that I’d come to decide was more vanity than honor, had even less concept of espionage than they did of escape, and so had plonked their POW camps down right where the prisoners were brought in: close by major staging areas that received traffic from multiple sectors. In just our short time playing spies, we’d caught divisions on the move, scouting patrols resupplying, and once even a heavy dreadnought sneaking around—so large she was visible in orbit from the ground. We had stolen radio components from the almost pathetically clueless Z’lask our second week in camp, and our comms officers Dawson and Xi had rigged up between them an Albatross call—a transmittereceiver that could send old-fashioned scrambled radio signals to one of the fleet of wandering listener probes the espionage-savvy humans maintained—nicknamed Albatrosses—which could then convert the message into an FTL signal and boost it to the UN datanet, whence it would be routed into military intelligence channels, unscrambled, and make it to an analyst’s inbox in time for their breakfast muffin. For their part, the spooks sent us plain-word coded messages telling us what to be on the lookout for, and we did our best to oblige them. We’d gotten the impression that we were good at our strange new assignment, and every so often they even sent us care packages. The best had come three weeks after we’d spotted the dreadnought. We’d received relief boxes containing chocolate-chip cookies and, concealed in one of the box’s liners, a newsite printout detailing a successful ambush over a key Z’lask mining planet, culminating in the destruction of the heavy dreadnought Honor of the Code, enabling the taking of the world by combined American and Chinese forces. The Houston sends her love. It is weird, though. X-13s on the move…an ominous sign. I wonder where they’re headed, if they’re going to defend a Z’lask stronghold, or to attack a human one. Well, we could go looking tonight. “OK. Stinger, it’s your turn as spotter, right?” At the fighter pilot’s enthusiastic nod, I continue. “Great. Dawson, you bring the radio. Ramirez, pick two friends and come cover us. I don’t have to tell y’all how important this run is. X-13s mean something big in the wind, and it’ll be a huge advantage for our buddies up there if they know how many are coming.” The meeting breaks up, prisoners drifting back to writing letters, playing cards, or napping. Some go outside to resume the fanatically rough games of soccer, football, rugby, or an unholy hybrid of the three that provide cover for the disposal of dirt from the tunnels. We’re no longer allowed to play baseball, when the batters ran out of windows to target Petty Officer Hilts displayed his prowess by hitting what would have been an easy triple—if it hadn’t connected with a guard’s head. The guard was still in the hospital and Hilts was still in solitary. The day drags. There’s little to do in a prisoner of war camp, even one in which the prisoners are running an underground spy operation. It only takes around fifteen minutes to receive, transcribe, and decode our orders, and less than an hour to compose, encode, and transmit our reports. Then nothing. To be fair, we have to maintain the tunnels, plan our sightseeing trips, and be on guard every second for hints we’ve been discovered, but the days here are 27 hours long. For people used to standing watches on a warship amid the frantic ebb and flow of combat, solving problems and having new ones instantly arise, the steady, slow burn of unrelieved stress is uniquely wearing. No one is really in control of their fate in the Navy, whether it’s war or peace, but that’s nothing compared to being property. I hadn’t realized how lucky I was to have always lived free, the same way you don’t realize how lucky you are to breathe until you’re choking. Being captured was a constant grind of helplessness and humiliation. The Z’lask don’t exactly mistreat us, though they can be nasty if sufficiently provoked, preferring instead to act as though we’re invisible. Some days I can’t decide if the silent treatment might not actually be worse—nothing to break the smothering monotony. I know that what we’re doing is fighting back, that we are substantially, materially helping the war effort, but that doesn’t change the fact that I feel completely powerless. But, I have to keep reminding myself, I have nothing I can justifiably complain about. I’m out of the danger my friends faced daily, I’m being treated well, and I’m running an important surveillance operation. And you know, not being able to complain might just be the worst of all; bitching is a way of life in the Navy. And so, as we wait for the planet’s ugly sun to set, no distraction can hold the attention, or alleviate the crushing, cutting, stinging tension and anticipation. It’s like waiting for the first shot to be fired as battle groups close, only permanent, unbroken. My God, you’re whiny. But, as it inevitably does, darkness falls, and we’re locked in for the night. The lights in the barracks cut out and the lights at the fence blaze on, and Stinger and I jump for the tunnel connecting the women’s barracks (the Z’lask sharing male/female biology, and being more than willing to apply Article 25 of the Geneva Convention) with Barracks #6, from whence we stage our little excursions, given its privileged view of the guardhouses and proximity to the fence. We meet up with the marines and Dawson at the other end, and after a quick word with Carter, who watches the entrance, we dive down into darkness again, crawling with agonizing, arduous slowness through the narrow tunnel. My way is made even more difficult by my “backup plan” that I push in front of me—it needs to stay cushioned from shock, if possible. At least I don’t have Ramirez’s problem, I can hear him grunting and cursing ahead of me as he struggles to fit his six-foot-eight, 250-pound frame through the tiny tunnel. Yay being short! Nope. Being short still sucks. Especially when the commandant’s eight-foot-ten*.* Damn lizards. Anytime I say something stupid, he literally looks down on me. Getting through the tunnel feels like eternity, and I’m always surprised when I emerge that what seems so long is over so quickly. We come out in the woods (deciduous, thick-growing, lots of underbrush, kinda like home…) about twenty yards into the treeline. Without speaking, we form up and slide off into the shadows, moving silently under the incentive of discovery. It isn’t a terribly long hike to the staging area, and we stop at the top of a hill that drops off sharply to the cleared ground before the base's fence. We hang back in the brush, choosing a thicket and spreading out into our positions: Stinger up a tree to observe, Dawson below her to record what she sees, the three marines into the darkness around us, tuned for any whisper of detection. I sit with my back to a rock, cradling my backup plan. “OK, so, tanks….I see a bunch of shuttles, Whiskey-class, yeah, they’re being loaded…something bulky, can’t really make it out, could be the tanks….can’t one of you fuckers take off those tarps?” Stinger subsides into profanity-laced muttering. Minutes—or maybe it’s years—go by until Stinger abruptly speaks again. “Yep, those’re the tanks, someone just took the tarp off one, it’s an X-13 all right, I’d know that silhouette anywhere. So there’s gotta be one, two—” Stinger continues counting, and with every number my heart sinkers farther. Eventually she determines that all of the shuttlecraft crammed onto the base’s sprawling launchpads are carrying them, and gives a final tally of a full division aboard. That’s somewhere’s death warrant. Dawson wastes no time, powering up his equipment and making a terse, urgent report. Our analysts should get a nasty surprise about 24 hours from now. Can this day get any worse…. I shouldn’t have had that thought. I should never, ever have that thought, because as I do, it does. I hear the first high, throaty whine of an engine spooling up. We watch with horror as the shuttlecraft—loaded heavy with deadly cargo intended for our species—come to life, exhaust ports glowing with ghastly, beautiful menace in the night. The whines rage into roars as the first thunders into the air, bellowing with power as it throttles up and burns hard, followed by its fellows, one after the other after the other, almost endless. They’re terrible as they roar into the atmosphere, stretching out long and evil as they pitch for orbit. Wherever they’re going, these ugly machines represent the effort of an entire species to break my own. And I’m stuck on the ground, out of the fight. It’s an eviscerating feeling, and for the first time, I despair. For the first time, I understand why prisoners lose their minds in captivity. From this hideous helplessness, insanity would be a release. I can’t do this…I can’t take this anymore…. And a memory comes up unbidden in my mind. The evening before the First Earth Expeditionary Force sailed, Admiral William C. Fletcher had addressed all 500,000 of us. I remember what he said. “Gentlemen,” he’d begun, turning slowly to survey everyone assembled. “Good evening. I wanted to speak to you tonight, before we embark, to make sure you all know what we are going to do. This is a historic day for humanity: for the first time in our long and bloody history, we go to war not against each other, but united. We go to war not because of our own well-known greed, stupidity, or hatred, but because of the inscrutable motives of an alien race. Evidently, the Z’lask do not have a decent respect for the opinions of mankind, or perhaps they did not care to submit their reasons to a candid galaxy.” Smirking wryly, he starts to pace, hands clasped behind his back. “However, while we do not know their motives, we do know their intentions. They are all too familiar: the Z’lask march to subjugate us. They wish to conquer us, control us, and if necessary, exterminate us.” He lets the silence hang, then drives ahead. “Stakes such as these are, unfortunately, not unfamiliar in human history. Many times before tyrants of one kind or another have wished to dehumanize the human race. Some would have had us returned to animals, to be unthinking, brutish, and brutal. Some would have had us converted to machines, to walk the earth without our hearts. Then as now, these small-minded, cowardly beings began their assaults by attacking that which they most fear—our rights, the rights you now defend: life, freedom, peace.” He stops, surveys his audience, and continues. “It’s natural, before a fight, to compare yourself to your opponent, to look for strengths and weaknesses, advantages and disadvantages. With an enemy so alien, such a study becomes a comparison of birthrights—what each species is fundamentally, innately capable of. “Humanity’s birthright is pursuit. Pursuit of happiness, pursuit of progress, pursuit of peace.” He pauses to grin. “And as we say in the Navy, pursuit of all who threaten it.” The he’s off again. “And in all its millennia-long pursuits, humanity has shown that its distinguishing endowment—what we possess which no other species can match—is endurance. Endurance past all reason, endurance beyond all hope, endurance through all adversity. And that is why we will win.” He’s moving faster now, head lowered and eyes shining. “The Z’lask, as you know, adhere to their Code. They cannot live, act, or think without its strictures. They have lost all capacity for adaptation or innovation. They are static. You will find them doctrinaire enemies, unimaginative in their tactics and predictable in their movements. They will not know how to react to chaos like us.” He grins wickedly. “And they will not be able to endure. They are brave. They are strong. They will be a formidable adversary—well equipped, trained, and led. They will fight viciously. However, they will tire, as they suffer the losses inherent to war, and meet those old friends of humanity: pain, death, and defeat.” He stares us down to be sure we understand. “Their Code tells them that these great teachers are shameful; to be avoided, ignored. They will not be able to overcome them, hone them, turn them into weapons, as we do. As you will do. And so they will collapse under the weight of the same misconceived Code that appears to have driven them to this conflict. In my opinion that’s justice, and the armies of humanity have sworn to deliver justice.” His tone becomes somber. “Many of you here today, about to embark on this great undertaking of humankind, will not return. Many of you will not return in one piece. None of you will return as you are today. All of you will have to endure blood, pain, grief, suffering—and continue giving it back worse to your enemy!” He’s thundering now, striding about the stage. “These lizards don’t know what they’ve done! They don’t know what they’ve done going to war with the race born to pursue. We’ve pursued our rights through millennia of ignorance, centuries of intolerance, decades of delusion, and depths of oppression and tyranny and misery these posturing scaly bastards couldn’t begin to imagine. No matter what the challenge, always we have found somewhere within us the capacity to persevere, to adapt, to triumph. This is your heritage, gentlemen. Your rights, your capacity, your pursuit—and the limitless endurance with which we will win this war.” He comes to a stop, sweeps the spellbound audience once with his eyes. “Good luck, gentlemen. Remember that the hopes and dreams of countless earthbound ancestors, and the prayers of every human being wherever they are in this galaxy, sail with you. Dismissed.” As the roar from the engines fade, so too does the memory. I take a deep breath, feeling steadier than I have in a long time. It’s easy to lose your way in the dark, to forget what you’re fighting for. But being reminded somehow makes up for the desolation of being adrift. Well? You’re in command here. What are you going to do? “All right, guys,” I say, hearing my voice in the low snarl it sinks into when my ship is heeling to bring her broadside to bear, target falling into my sights. They look around, and I see them responding, remembering what we’d all forgotten, and bracing up stronger for it. “We’ve called this in, they’re in the fleet’s hands now. But since we’ve completed our espionage for the evening—” I feel my old grin unfurl. “Who’s up for a little sabotage?” So how'd I do? Any criticism is welcome!
I am about to post the 3000 most common words in the English lexicon. Wish me luck...
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respond respondent response responsibility responsible rest restaurant restore restriction result retain retire retirement return reveal revenue review revolution rhythm rice rich rid ride rifle right ring rise risk river road rock role roll romantic roof room root rope rose rough roughly round route routine row rub rule run running rural rush Russian sacred sad safe safety sake salad salary sale sales salt same sample sanction sand satellite satisfaction satisfy sauce save saving say scale scandal scared scenario scene schedule scheme scholar scholarship school science scientific scientist scope score scream screen script sea search season seat second secret secretary section sector secure security see seed seek seem segment seize select selection self sell Senate senator send senior sense sensitive sentence separate sequence series serious seriously serve service session set setting settle settlement seven several severe sex sexual shade shadow shake shall shape share sharp she sheet 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